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Comment by Etheryte | Hacker News Reader

> People who take up dancing together, for instance, often express greater closeness and cohesion afterward. Moving in tandem seems to generate intangible, intimate bonds.

As a dancer in my youth, it's a bit funny reading someone writing this as research. Dancing is physically close, intimate, other-person-way-closer-than-your-regular-comfort-zone by nature. Add to that that eye contact, again inherently intimate, is crucial for coordinating any nuanced moves and you'd be hard pressed to find anything other than the above result. There is no way to put in the hours of rote practice, sweat, awkward mishaps and more without becoming intimate with your dance partner. I'm not saying it's bad there's research into this, I'm more so surprised this is something that was only strictly established by research in 2015.

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Maybe it took until 2015 because people thought it was too obvious to bother recording.

I feel similarly about wrestling. The culture can be extremely macho (often to its detriment) - but the physical contact and trust involved similarly builds bonds.

Wrestled from an early age. Totally agree. Takes a lot of trust to let someone shoot in trip and slam you. Knowing that it's your turn next. You truly know someone's strength and skill and all the social tough guy posturing means nothing when it's just two people on the mat.

> You truly know someone's strength and skill and all the social tough guy posturing means nothing when it's just two people on the mat.

I ultimately decided wrestling wasn't for me, but I did appreciate this part of it. there were quite a few matches in highschool where some scrawny kid got matched against one of the "athletic" types. often turned out to be quite the upset if the scrawny guy had actually been paying attention to the coaches.

From the way you're writing about dance, I assume that you mean couple dances like tango or waltz?

This study is not about a couple dance, where one has physical contact with one dance partner, but about synchronised movement to music in a group.

I was actually imagining ballet when reading their description.

Competitive cheerleading as well isn't just physically close, there are moves where you're literally putting your life in your teammates hands.

this is the reason you're supposed to "leave room for jesus" when dancing. the evils of dancing have been propogated by religious beliefs directly because of its known proclivity towards initimate behavior.

my conservative christian school told us that holding hands is as bad as pre-marital sex because it was the first step towards fornication.

that place was terrible

They were wrong in teaching it to children, but I don't think many people would want to see their significant other holding hands with someone else. There is a lot of wisdom in ancient religions but it's often wielded by less-than-capable people.

This is pretty cultural and contextual -- in many social groups, at least on the west coast, holding hands and cuddling between friends is common. In some Asian countries you often see two boys walking down the street holding hands. I don't really agree that there's wisdom in teaching people jealousy over perfectly innocent behavior.

As a Pākehā boy in Aotearoa in the 1960s I used to hold hands with my friends quite often. Especially if we were in conversation. Never even though twice about it. Eight years old

I said there's wisdom in ancient religions that have observed something about human nature that is otherwise hard to observe from a single individual's vantage point (not to mention trying to explain it in a concise/precise way). Saying it's equivalent to "teaching people jealousy" is illustrating my point, that teachings are often reduced and bastardized and then taught to children. Regardless, point taken and I agree there is cultural context, but even in hand-holding cultures, there will be an equivalent of an exterior but subtle show of attraction and the point Christians make (IMHO) is that you can be dishonest with yourself and then fall into the "trap", so it's almost a reductionist approach to morality, since if you intend never to "cheat" then why would you even be interested in the "first step", whatever that is for the culture.

I challenge that notion as toxic. Holding hands, hugging or otherwise expressing physical closeness with "someone else" is considered normal, healthy and valuable in various cultures, including mine.

I don't understand this idea that a partner holding hands with a non-partner is inherently threatening or uncomfortable. On the contrary, seeing my partner being comfortable and able to express intimacy is a strong positive signal of their ability to form a secure attachment with me and other people dear to me.

"becoming intimate" -- do you mean literally (ie, becoming emotionally close with feings of trust and connectedness), or as a euphemism for sex?

The entire reply is about how contrived physical closeness leads to emotional closeness so it seems out of left field to think this was a euphemism for sex.

In this context it means becoming close and connected, not a euphemism for sex.

>Dancing is physically close, intimate, other-person-way-closer-than-your-regular-comfort-zone by nature. Add to that that eye contact, again inherently intimate, is crucial for coordinating any nuanced moves and you'd be hard pressed to find anything other than the above result.

Also puts in new perspective the early 20th century attitudes towards Jazz, Rock N Roll, dancing, flappers, etc.

There is anecdote that Sayyid Qutb really turned away from modernity and towards Islamism when he witnessed a Church in Colorado (he was at UC Boulder) that held a mixed dance in one of the Church buildings.

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