Channel factories do not work globally as far as I understand them. They only work within a group of addresses that know they won't close the channels every other hour or everybody would have to create yet another channel. It sounds very similar to a credit union.

Watchtowers are what I meant with payment processors. You need to pay them to watch the chain in case the other party tries to literally steal from you. You can call them whatever you want, it's a third-party, just like Visa.

I love how all these cryptocurrency concepts have "traditional" counterparts, btw. Or it's rather the other way around.