Ask HN: Exercises to overcome learned helplessness?
I had a very controlled childhood. I coped, but my old habits are hurting me as an adult. How can I overcome the phenomenon of "learned helplessness" and use my will again?
Then, only focus on the new habits. Don't think back to the past of your old habits. Even more than that, just focus on PRACTICING these new habits. By doing this, you will reinforce your new habits until you essentially forget how to perform those old ones.
In sports, good coaches fix problems with technique (since all of it is habitual motions) by telling their students to do something NEW. They don't tell them to fix this or that. Telling their student to do something new is more constructive than trying to tell them to fix something that already has some flaws to it.
Good luck!
2) When you aren't getting there (or not in a timely manner or what not), analyze why.
3) If possible, find a good sounding board,* someone who will listen to you but not try to fix your shit for you, instead will ask you things like "now what are you gonna do about it?"
4) Use that as a means to figure out the next step and take it.
5) Iterate.
*Sounding board: Someone who will listen and help you think things through and get clarity. They shouldn't be too touchy-feely sympathetic. You don't need a shoulder to cry on. That is not their role. You need constructive feedback from someone who doesn't care if it hurts but also isn't intentionally cruel, just blunt and lets the chips fall where they may.