You might make enough money to not really need this kind of consent. That's great if you do. For us, it is just a small check to help us get to our goals.
In our case we have very different spending habits - I love to get a fairly regular coffee-shop latte & croissant, or fancy restaurant meals with friends, and similar things that savings gurus tell you will prevent you from ever retiring (my spouse's point of view).
My partner likes to spend way too much (imo) on "toys" once or twice a year.
We spent way too much time being obnoxiously judgemental at each other before we did the math and discovered each spending pattern works out almost exactly the same in aggregate over a year or two. Now we just set that aside and there's no judging because we know that the amount spent averages out to under what we decided was reasonable.
Edit: No kids though.
#4 seems very common for my parents' generation (in their 60s). #1 seems like a logistical headache for something like a mortgage.
My ex-wife and I basically followed #2. This works fine for a lot of people. It worked fine for us until it didn't - unrelated to the OP, but if your spouse runs up a shitload of CC debt while you're married, you're responsible for half of it. If she cashes in a 401(k) and uses the entire proceeds to pay off said debt, you're responsible for half the taxes.
My current SO and I have discussed merging accounts will probably do something closer to #3 - each of us putting in somewhere between 50-75% of our income into a joint account, and the rest is personal money. But the joint account is for everything. Obviously joint stuff yes but basically anything that isn't 100% individual will come out of that account.
I ask because my wife and I spend money however we like, and I think it'd be quite strange if she checked in with me before spending $150. Is there some useful context or previous over-spending that you're solving, or is it something you'd recommend for everyone?
I could careless what my partner spends his or her money on or even whom they decide to sleep with. We treat each other as equals to make their own decisions together or apart.
If you’re with an irresponsible person then you either break off the relationship or agree to suffer with the consequences of their actions.
It works surprisingly well. Others should try it.
I do not expect this to be popular.
Do you live with your partner? How do you split shared or somewhat-shared expenses? Are your incomes equal? Who has the role of managing expenses? If you go out to dinner, who pays? What if you share a dessert? (.. etc - you get my point.)
I hope you’re willing to expand given your enthusiasm for your lifestyle, but more context will help.
We have our own personal accounts and then one shared joint account for things we decide to buy together.
When we buy property, we buy it together or if one chooses to buy it alone that’s OK as well.
We also have a loose relationship document that we have created and regularly review to discuss things important to us.
- death - children - retirement - house chores - parenting - sex - commitments
Whatever style of relationship model you have overcommunication and active listening are extremely important especially as it deals with ones feelings, needs and fears.
ALWAYS handle tough conversations the same day (preferably) or week to avoid spiraling negativity and resentment.
We do have saving goals, like for a house, paying off bills, etc. We aren't wealthy people my any measure either, so every bit counts.
Life is just different for us that don't make as much money and are trying to get ahead.
If you're a couple whose combined income is $50k, spending is important and you simply can't afford to have your partner blow $80 on something because that could cause you to miss a bill, incur late/NSF fees, etc. My parents are elderly now and there's certainly a generational aspect as well but they made very little when I was growing up and they both knew every dollar that left the checking account. I make good money in tech and my SO is a physician so we just need to decide what portion of our income is allocated to joint expenses and the rest will work itself out. There's ways to optimize it of course but an NSF fee from the bank or a $30 late fee from Comcast is not really a concern for us the way they were both very real concerns for my parents.
I give myself $50/mo to spend on whatever I want. Anything else I mention it to my wife. Oh, and if it takes space in the house I mention it too.
10EUR
I’m glad you’ve never been in a place where 10 Euro fun money felt like a bit of a luxury.
It's an amount lower than the volatility of basic life (running out of toilet paper...). You would have to save five months to buy a jeans.
10EUR remaining on your bank account is precisely the amount that makes you feel insecure and poor.
Either you live in a very poor country, either you have no idea what you're talking about and are just condescending.
10 Euro buys you a coffee in a nice cafe a couple times a month. When you're poor, that's something!
You should do something about your financial situation if that seems like a lot of money to you.
Edit: how is it controversial that if you are poor, you should try to do something about it? To claim it is impossible to escape poverty is madness (unless you are sick or handicapped). Obviously the only way to escape is if you do something about it.
Even if you just earn 5$ per hour, you can try to save something. 1000$ would be 200 hours, not impossible. A better strategy would be to try to find a job that pays better, though.
That's how what you are saying sounds like.
EDIT: Even when you aren't poor, blowing 1K on a crazy project that might or might not pay off is something that a lot of couples would discuss first.
This is an offensively wrong statement and suggests an extremely privileged and out-of-touch upbringing. There are numerous - hundreds - of articles explaining in-depth why it's very expensive to be poor in the US.
> Even if you just earn 5$ per hour, you can try to save something. 1000$ would be 200 hours, not impossible.
It really sounds like you're suggesting that someone in poverty should be willing to work for below minimum wage for 200 hours (5 weeks of full-time work) to save $1000 to "invest" on Kazakh emoji domain names? I would typically assume I'm misunderstanding someone since that's such an incredibly asinine comment, but given the first half of the comment I have to wonder if that's what you actually mean.
Nobody says it is not "expensive to be poor". But it is idiotic to claim it is impossible to escape poverty. Billions of people have done so in the last century.
"It really sounds like you're suggesting that someone in poverty should be willing to work for below minimum wage for 200 hours (5 weeks of full-time work) to save $1000 to "invest" on Kazakh emoji domain names? I would typically assume I'm misunderstanding someone since that's such an incredibly asinine comment, but given the first half of the comment I have to wonder if that's what you actually mean."
No, your interpretation is asinine. However, if you believe "emoji domains" or whatever have a shot at becoming a viable business, doing that is an option. Personally I would suggest trying to find a better paying job first. But if you can't, what would you suggest? Vote Democrat and hope for a minimum wage law, which will then make you lose your job?
Obviously, if you don't believe in the emoji business, don't invest in it. Find something else to invest in.
Unless of course you're rich enough to afford everything.
Instead of shared money with personal allowances, which works in constricting manner, we have shared goals approach to which we contribute whenever and however we can, which works in contributing manner. And we try to keep our budget aligned with our forecast for the goal or we reevaluate the forecast in case of unforeseen circumstances like the COVID pandemic. Of course we don't hit all of our targets but with time we get better at evaluating. Also any unspent money from a missed goal start as base for another goal.
Expensive holidays are not automatically better, by the way. You don't need a luxury hotel abroad, maybe kids would actually have more fun going camping.
Also everybody seems to be missing the point that those 1200$ from the article where a business expense, not a "selfish purchase" as such.