Correct me if I'm wrong, but I think you missed the point of the discussion? It is not connected to frontend at all. It talks about the difference between using an ORM versus constructing SQL statements directly, as strings.

In that light I don't think `PREPARE` and stored procedures would help much (or at all).

I also don't find them hilarious, though they do represent very extreme views on the subject (imho) while to me it is essentially a tradeoff (I use both direct SQL and ORMs, depending on the needs of the project).