i'm also not convinced -- i see a crowded laptop screen and a bunch of post-it notes but i don't see a screenshot of my "favorite device", so i can't get a good 1-second gist of what you're offering.
nit picks:
- "while you were out memos" should be "while you were out" memos (move quotation mark)
- i would take the first person qualifiers out of the copy (we take the ..., our app..., etc) and make things shorter and more concise.
overall:
- design looks nice, though it looks to me like a pre-made theme
- show your apps in action, in an uncluttered environment (note how most macbook images don't show the keyboard)
- strengthen and clarify your message