Procrastination is flight, deadline is fight, freeze is staring at the screen
pmigdal.medium.com
pmigdal.medium.com
It's eye opening how a lot of life struggles turn out to be an emotional management problem at their core: procrastination, addiction, stress.
I wish I had that perspective earlier in my life. It completely changes the solution space from trying random productivity tools to focusing on one's emotions and possibly getting into therapy.
Hear, hear. For me, it was also figuring out how to cut out unneeded aggravations from my life.
Many people think you get used to it, and maybe you don't consciously notice it anymore, but I think that the permanent background noise to which many people are exposed in cities contributes to their stress levels. Pretty much everywhere they go, there's constant noise:
* random chatter / noises in the open office
* AC hum / vibrations / etc at the office
* traffic noise, while walking around or taking public transport
* random traffic noise / honks / etc at home if the apartment is close to a street and badly soundproofed
Some people? There is a thin line between cutting out people who step onto you, and becoming misanthropic/associal. Since lockdowns I went from 60 friends to ~4, because I can’t stand them and I’ve come to realize their politics directly harm me. But now I’m alone. Working on this, but it is a very thin line.
I guess presumably he would have gotten new, less offensive friends if the governments of the world hadn't made it illegal.
(How'd he end up friends with these people in the first place?)
On the other side of that -- I've found that I've also begun to gravitate much more to folks who are either expressly apolitical or who otherwise are willing to set aside their politics and focus more on the people around them. Now, it's true that politics isn't just some purely abstract thing -- it's very concrete, and as you say, sometimes folks have politics that directly harm you and then you can't really maintain friendships with them.
But beyond that, I've gravitated much more to having close friendships with people who simply care about me, and that's it. Another thing I would say is that 4 friends -- if they're truly good, close friends, who will see you through thick and thin -- is quite a lot. I can count maybe 4-8 close friends who I could rely on to that extent, and I consider myself extremely lucky as many folks rarely find even 1-2. If you do have 4 close friends, perhaps consider the silver lining -- sure, you've pared down your circle of interaction, but that also gives you more energy to invest into the friendships that really matter and which sustain you.
My heart goes out to you regardless. That doesn't make this process simple. And having seen a lot of friendships drop in perhaps the same manner you have, I can say (perhaps as you too understand) that it really hurts. It stings. Even if I understand why it happens, and it all logically adds up, it really breaks my hurt. It's okay to feel heartbroken that way. Don't be too hard on yourself. This past year has been extremely hard on everyone. Best of luck.
This is particularly applicable to anxiety-based issues such as OCD but it can help for a variety of problems
I am not suggesting that exercise is the cure for depression, but when it comes to a normal "feeling low", I find that the solution often relates to the body: move, stretch or relax. Same with sleep. If I can't fall asleep I often just need to make myself aware of where I have tension in the body ([link redacted])
On a higher level, diet obviously means a lot and so does air quality. I put an Awair in my office recently and have realized that I wasn't airing out nearly enough. I was basically sitting in a cloud of CO2 which I now realize was also making me feel tired.
I put all my pollution data into Grafana and it makes making decision when to open (or close) a window that much easier. (Yeah, you have to make a thought-out decision to not feel terrible. It's a whole ceremony.)
In Beijing, the difference before and after the air purifier was enormous in my own experience.
https://www.psychcongress.com/article/evidence-exercise-anti...
I no longer have depression, and it was a combination of small factors which did it for me.
1: https://astralcodexten.substack.com/p/ontology-of-psychiatri...
Same thoughts here. I suspect no tomato-based super-agile time management technique has ever turned an inefficient person into an efficient one, long term.
What worked best for me is low-overhead simplicity. A notebook. Make it routine to realistically scope out, jot down, divide and conquer tasks. Just a few minutes every morning. No schedule. Take the task and work. Whenever your brain tells you to take a break, just take a break. But just keep on looking at what you aimed to accomplish for the day. That way, you're just mentally thinking about the tasks and not some stupid timer or how you planned it all out on a calendar.
Ultimately, it's about managing emotions, but having this down helps because it clears your mind a little.
If we can reframe bad management and unfulfilling work into an employee’s emotional problem, then suddenly everything is easier, isn’t it? A good worker takes their medication before coming in, and goes to therapy to learn how to be better at following their manager’s instructions, and takes more medication in the evening to feel good after a long day’s work. Well, I guess there’s nothing new under the sun, these things have been happening to some degree for a while, and especially self-medicating with things like weed and alcohol when not working.
Will having a majority-un-medicated workforce soon put a country at an economic disadvantage? Will the alternative become a cultural relic that some countries fight to preserve through regulation, the way France preserves its traditional cheeses?
In We by Zamyatin and Brave New World, the non-medicated elements of society eventually rebel against the new order. In our case, the scope of medication is already starting to show its limits so I don't think we will get to the scenario you describe. This sort of life is just too inherently unsatisfying to be masked by meds, not to mention that workers now can directly see just how poor they are compared to their masters and just how much surplus the masters capture.
Agreed. I spotted this right at the time when I saw stoicism beginning to be 'productized' via books, journals, podcasts and courses.
Incidentally, I learned more from his earlier, non-stoicism book, "Trust Me I'm Lying: Confessions of a Media Manipulator." A prescient book for the current wave of media manipulation.
If your house fell down and you lost your job and now you can't afford therapy that does suck, but what are you going to do? Those things happened, you can either just fall into a crumbling mess or appreciate what you still have and focus on the things you can control from that.
Yes, I get what you are saying about management, but if you don't shift the focus onto yourself and self responsibility then you are still doomed yourself, you cannot change how the management react etc, what you can do is either 1) Make it known and try and change that system 2) Get the hell out of there.
Things that can only happen if you acknowledge the situation and take personal responsibility. You have mistaken the stoic framework for something that makes you powerless and a system that allows others to more easily control you.
Yes it could be used in the way you are mentioning but it is not at all meant that way, there are 'preferred indifferences' and a true practitioner of stoic would seek to change that system or remove themselves from it if they could, if they absolutely can't then using these techniques isn't so bad, because it's all you can do, but it would be right and preferred to fix this.
For real though. I’ve had anxiety attacks and tried to put myself outside the situation like an observer. Just let the emotion wash over you but don’t react to it. It’ll pass and you’ll feel better and come to terms with the issue that induced the fear.
I've struggled my whole life with procrastination, and this article really resonated with me as to why. I've only recently started forcing myself to act first, as best as I can, and accept and deal with the consequences.
The physician who ultimately prescribed the medication informs me:
1. Methylphenidate aka Ritalin is not addictive (and I had no problem stopping it for some years when it made sense)
2. Probably every adult could benefit from its use at specific crunch times. (But not permanently unless you're actually diagnosed with ADHD)
The FUD I've experienced when I mention Ritalin always surprises me.
I'd imagine it could first of all be difficult to diagnose because the symptoms might occlude each other (i.e., 'getting important stuff done' despite the ADHD, thanks to the panic of failing something, up to a point) and also a challenge to medicate both at the same time, since I'd expect anything 'raising vigilance' to also cause anxiety and vice versa.
The doctor and psychologist I worked with prescribed a small dose of medication that affects multiple neurotransmitters. In addition I've found some mindfulness exercises and aerobic exercise helpful.
That said...let me start with my premises. (1) I don't think risks are very high/unknown, and this point (2) but let's face it... an adhd regimen is an "uppers" regimen. So... my bias is moderacy. At the least, it encourages you to be specific in your aims. Are you trying to be more productive 9-5, minimize pathological behaviours, or are taking uppers to handle that 9th or 12th hour of work.
In no way I want to advertise mph as a silver bullet for such problems, but at least for some people it works like a charm.
Only a few months ago, I started looking at it. It turns out that sending a letter is a multi-step process. From printing something, signing it, writing the address (I hate my handwriting), going to the post office (often too loud, with long waiting times), sending it (with a proper type of email). All with delayed feedback (a killer for ADHD-like motivation). All in a way that a SINGLE mistake (e.g. sending 2 copies instead of 3, page 5 being unsigned, a missed deadline, etc).
Yes, therapy won't solve it. I am meeting weekly with a therapist for emotional stuff (but who is virtually clueless about sensory processing issues related to Autism/ADHD) and a "Psychologist on the Spectrum" (it's her FB page) purely for talking about such matters.
Ad substances, in my case, Modafinil works better than Methylphenidate. Modafinil makes me focused while reducing anxiety.
I struggle with it too and have not found a solution to it. There is a class of tasks which is really hard for me to get started on due to having failed at similar tasks in spectacular ways in the past.
I'm diagnosed and experience exactly what you describe, but there is also a decade of severe underemployment, risky impulse behaviour, big financial hits, marital strain and a litany of health problems.
The harm can be pretty subtle despite being obvious in retrospect.
20mg instant release Methylphenidate makes an incredible difference. I can actually prioritize things properly and take care of family, housework, my body, and long term goals and all that before bedtime!
It used to be night after night doing the housework dead last at 2am or not doing it at all and experiencing marital strain.
Pretty life changing.
That, of course, is a logical fallacy. I procrastinate doing taxes because I don't want to find out I owe a bunch of money, but not filing them will have even worse outcomes.
I literally have to convince myself that it's better for me to find out bad news sooner rather than later and that worse outcomes will happen if I don't do something.
I've started using a whiteboard and adding items that need to be done. I can replace the fear of bad news by a good feeling of checking something off the todo list on the whiteboard. I'm trying to train myself to get a good feeling from getting things done to overcome the fear the drives my procrastination.
Present value of money...
In my case, I have to battle the fallacy that, no matter how good it feels to cross out an item from the todo list, there will always be another item that follows, whereas if I don't do anything, then there will never be another item in my life :|
Rigging a PDC in Unreal Engine, writing some python code for a simulator or writing a function for OpenFaaS and all of a sudden, I have no trouble getting to it right away.
Need a new MacBook, one with a best price/performance combo? Or should I build a PC myself instead and Hackintosh it? Will it take me 15 hours of research to find the answer and another 10 to build and set it up? Well, my 25 hours are worth a lot, so nowadays I just get one that is way better and more expensive than I'd normally fall for and be done with it. Knowing I saved so much time is enough to rationalize the choice and thus avoid buyer's remorse.
The van incident happened because I was used to cross the road every day from the school to take a bus on the other side. One day I saw the bus coming so I started running without looking, until I looked and saw a van coming at 100Km/hour and froze.
The reason I froze is because those things are extremely fast and if you cross the road and don't expect those things it takes time to react and understand what is happening. This time could be less than the time it takes for the vehicle to hit you.
When I understood that I was going to be killed I jumped to the middle of the road like a ninja in both cases. In the van case the van hit my shoe but nothing serious happened.With the truck I reacted sooner.
I don't consider freeze response common when people stare in front of a piece of paper or in front of a wall. Usually what happens is that people fly away and fantasize with their minds.
This way they avoid the painful reality and can dream about having sex or being rich,famous,traveling or whatever that makes them feel good, just like the poor Indians do with Bollywood movies.
In fact creative people need to dream a significant part of their work time. From the outside they look they do nothing, like Stephen Hawking doing nothing physical, but their minds are working.
Isn't one of the biggest difference between humans and animals that animals always act on instinct and naturally so? Do animals do anything that can be considered not instinct?
All the time. Animals accumulate new behaviors through repetition, reward and corrective interactions. They also play. See dogs, cats and any other mammals humans have relationships with.
It’s strange because it happened in a place where i travel regularly and I was overconfident.
The truck appeared from behind a bush at an angle I didn’t expect.
It honked and I froze, otherwise I’d have stepped infront of it.
Anyways it taught me never to cross a red light, even when I’m 100% sure that it’s safe, because in these cases you need only 1 mistake, and it’s over.
That's how I droppped out of university with only two days to go.
Can confirm. My first job was as a Junior DevOps Engineer, turned out that all of my tasks were related to creating reports and maintaining the clusterfuck of a system which was creating these reports.
Didn't want to quit, because "it could get better", "hang in there" etc.
I was then asked to plan a project to create a new reporting system for the whole corp. My brain hates Excel sheets, but that's what I had to fill out for this project. I knew that it was too late when I experienced the same thing you described: Freezing instead of fighting. Ended up in a minor burn-out and got fired.
Now I work as a Linux System Engineer in a company and team which actually values my skills and gives me interesting tasks.
As humans we have limited time and energy, and procrastination can be a signal that we are using our time and energy on the wrong project or activity.
It can also be productive time for our subconscious to come up with creative directions for our {software architecture, novel, movie, music production, etc} when we are not sure what direction to consciously go in.
If you think of your will power as a limited resource for example, with blocking out distractions an actively depleting activity (not sure what the latest results on that are, afaik it's a generally valid model that sometimes doesn't hold up), it makes sense to wait with starting your work until the point where distractions simply aren't a viable option anymore. Basically, you conserve energy by making it easier for yourself to stay on task, by raising the 'importance gradient' until 'action selection' becomes effortless.
For instance, in all of the steps needed to get job X, you have to expend effort on classes and activities in school that often do not have an impact on your actual life circumstances or intellectual world in and of themselves, but are necessary if you are to compete against other students for limited spaces in specific universities. Once in university, you have to continue a similar if albeit less absurd dance that is necessary to get a recognized certification that in turn is only needed because the employer has to sift through many applications and doesn't have time to evaluate you as an individual.
In a service based economy, there also comes the realization that the result of your work is often in the most fundamental terms an attempt to funnel some surplus your way through a product or service that is often superfluous, redistributive, and/or reliant on its marketing. Or the job itself only exists because other humans are in a state of competition or artificial scarcity. The proportion of people who actually create non-virtual wealth or provide truly essential services is fairly low. In the end, it's pretty uncommon to have a job that only gives you autonomy and inherent joy in the task themselves but also the sense that you are making a tangible non-redistributive contribution. In the crab bucket, only a small portion of the work serves to better the human condition in a genuine, direct manner.
Of course, there are many exceptions to this, and plenty of people are no doubt very satisfied with their occupations. But there is something about modern life in general that short-circuits the adaptiveness of procrastination you describe by providing only tasks that should ideally be procrastinated forever on.
However, in your examples, again - I think procrastination provides a useful signal. If you already have your sights set on "job X" while in university, and you find yourself procastinating all your assignments - maybe it's time to re-evaluate your desire to have job X (maybe it came from your parents or societal pressure rather than an internal desire) and be more flexible in your goals.
It's a bit idealistic, but I do feel that even in modern society, people can find fulfilling work even at the lower pay-grades - and if you're continually procrastinating all your tasks that are required for you to get that work, that is likely a useful sign that it is not the fulfilling work you are looking for.
This is the first video and you'll find the second in there too: https://youtu.be/KSsWm1LxEQQ
Unlike Piotr, I didn’t make a connection between this state and flight and/or freeze response—this is an interesting idea that might adjust my understanding of this phenomenon. This article contains a lot of food for thought.
The advice is essentially; do the hardest thing on your todo list first and the rest is a breeze.
It's no magic bullet, and it still takes willpower. But if you persevere and it becomes as habit, you'll find yourself procrastinating less.
I’m experimenting with the following method:
I know exactly what I do to avoid working gaming, youtube). I could literally waste a whole day in one sitting switching between csgo and random youtube videos.
I know doing that will get me nowhere.
I know doing the tasks may help me get somewhere.
So whenever I have to decide what to do next, I look at the task at hand, and investigate how I feel. If I feel weird, I’ll think through whats wrong. My current task makes me afraid I’ll break something. Then I think trough, that even if I break code, I have backups, so nothing can really go wrong.
I’ve been sitting for like 10 minutes getting to the end of it, then I’ve been able to ease into doing the task.
It all comes down into not letting myself instinctively jump into some instant gratification, but being brave enough to think myself to the bottom of the issue, then it will no longer be a beast that I want tk avoid, but just “well this is what I do next, and it’s fine”
For the morning I have sleep as android as a backup, which requires me to go to the bathroom and scan a QR code to disable the alarm - effectively forcing me out of bed.
For actually doing what I am procrastinating on, I have a dumb-watch where I can set an alarm for 10 minutes. I find that I can usually get started that way, and when the 10 minutes are up I don't want to stop (see previous pathological state). However, on occasion I will and that is totally fine too - if you expect to follow up on the deals you have made with others, you should follow up on the deals you made with yourself.
- It tracks time spent in applications, as well as which browser tabs etc.
- can block the opening of specific url, as well as .exe.
- can export all data to a CSV
I feel my life outcome and success depends on emotional regulation more than anything else.
Indeed. It wouldn't surprise me that assuming a person is of at least average intelligence, emotional regulation is the greatest predictor of success. Not to be held back by one's own demons is a big step towards success.
I think of it like this: If i sit and watch youtube all day, that is a fine, comfortable day, nothing bad will happen at least not in the immediate and in the most part not that much in the longer term, unless I have something that absolutely needs to get done as it is critical, although in general i would have gotten that done if that is the case. The problem is that it is easy to waste life away doing this.
But if the task is say I am redecorating my house. The resistance comes up, because say I need to order something, do I order this one or that one? which is best, and if i order it, maybe I have delivery issues, maybe it comes on the wrong day, a day I am not home, maybe it comes and i don't like it, maybe it arrives and I try and set it up but I do it wrong and i damage it etc.
Doing something gives me the opportunity to achieve something but it also gives me the opportunity for way more to go wrong, it's very simple, the more things I do, the more things that are going to go wrong and the more 'painful' that is going to be... so unless i feel like I have to do it, why do it ? I could just watch netflix all day, this is the issue.
Which is why I like Tim Urbans Ted talk so much and it reminds me of this: https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&c...
Basically we are going to die and don't have that much time to waste. I think realising that might help somewhat, because then it gives me a kick of the right type of motivation, sitting watching youtube all day means nothing in my life will happen and i won't get to do all this stuff and then I will be gone. Something like that seems like it could be the only/best way to motivate yourself in the face of this, knowing you are actively going to have to choose to do things which then means things are going to hurt.
Basically to do anything, you have to accept you are going to be hurting yourself, so you have to make the hurt of not doing it worse than the potential hurt of doing it.