Hacker News Reader

Comment by jasode | Hacker News Reader

>Couples are spending a lot of time together [...], so I'd expected that to result in more baby making

But a counteracting force is that some couples think 9 months ahead and are afraid of delivering their baby in a COVID-overloaded hospital.

COVID makes the opportunities for conception easier but adds to the stress and uncertainties of delivery and postnatal care. (So maybe more sex activity but also more contraception to prevent pregnancies.)

It's like that anecdote I heard of the forced shelter-at-home lets people do home-improvement projects but some are afraid of getting on high ladders because if they fall and seriously injure themselves, they are afraid the busy hospital won't be able to see them quickly. COVID changes the risk profile even for people who don't get COVID.

View on HN

> But a counteracting force is that some couples think 9 months ahead and are afraid of delivering their baby in a COVID-overloaded hospital.

My wife works in a maternity ward.

Babies are a high priority. They're fully prepared to deliver babies from covid-positive mothers. (And, yes, there's been plenty of covid-positive mothers.)

And, because visitors are strictly limited, it's actually quite easy in the maternity ward.

I went in because we got pregnant thanks to being stuck at home. It's much more peaceful without a parade of visitors, but super-scary because some of the delivery rooms have negative pressure machines in case there's a covid-positive mother.

We have two kids (meticulously over-planned :) ), but when I look back to the incredible level of uncertainty that was in the world in March-May of last year, we'd have taken significant precautions to not get pregnant during that timeframe.

No one knew what hospitals were going to look like in July 2020, let alone Feb 2021. I'm glad that we are in a stable situation where providing in-hospital labor&delivery care is reasonably safe, but you couldn't have really banked on that to be the case at the critical start of the process.

It's not the fact that hospitals cannot handle it.

It's when you consider the cost-benefit of the increased risk associated with being in the hospital during a pandemic and possibly experiencing stronger symptoms/complications because of the pregnancy if getting sick, the scale tips away from trying for kids.

During the height of severe covid cases in my area a lot of hospitals were not even allowing spouses in during delivery, so yes it was still relatively safe but definitely not the same.

The uncertainty isn't just the COVID overload, but also no doulas/support people, and not knowing if the father is even going to be allowed in the building in case something unusual happens.

My wife and I had our first son at the end of 2019, right before the outbreak. We’ve heard from friends that women are delivering wearing a mask now.

My wife thinks that she wouldn’t be able to do that and that she would pass out. The level of breathing required to deliver a baby is intense.

She has basically threatened the livelihood of my genitalia if I impregnate her during the pandemic. She’s kidding, right? ;)

I delivered wearing a mask last year, it's honestly security theater. A little floppy surgical mask does nothing to contain the breathing of a laboring woman. I was more upset I couldn't kiss my baby when he was first put in my arms.

It's a tough juggle between a hospital that won't allow you to give birth maskless, and the level of care you want. We went through a similar tough choice with our daughter born in August last year - we ultimately went with a Catholic-based hospital that we vetted for great care that allowed my wife to give birth without a mask on.

The level of breathing needed to deliver a baby is intense, sure, but the impeding of breathing from wearing a mask is minimal. Early on when I was wearing homemade masks made with shop towels, rubber bands and staples, mask wearing was uncomfortable, but with masks that aren't made out of random elements are fine. My first-grade kids have no problem running, jumping and climbing with their masks on.

> but the impeding of breathing from wearing a mask is minimal.

If I inhale hard on a surgical mask, it collapses and seals against my mouth. I have to either use a brand new, very stiff, mask. Or adjust the mask not to seal well against the sides to add some more space between my mouth and the mask.

It doesn't happen during normal breathing, but I could easily see it happening during labor - the sweat would soften the mask, and the level of breathing needed would easily do it.

I’m in San Francisco, where we’ve consistently had some of the most restrictive policies.

My wife is pregnant and they’ve told me the whole time that I’d be allowed in for the birth, but while rates were climbing I’ve been unable to attend any appointments or ultrasounds. It’s been kind of surreal knowing that, yes, we’re having a baby, but not having been able to really see it.

Now that rates have dropped, I’m finally going to be able to attend my first ultrasound today and I’m totally stoked!

Congrats!! Hope it's smooth sailing for you and your spouse and your child.

Caring for a baby once it's born is also harder without the support available from family to bring food, babysit older kids, etc.

> adds to the stress and uncertainties of delivery and postnatal care

Another lurking factor is the availability of grandparents to assume some of the early child care. Movement restrictions can remove this assistance entirely from new parents.

I’d do the opposite. The pandemic is the perfect time to have a kid if you were thinking ahead. Sure, in the short term it might suck, but in the long term, your kid will be amongst a smaller generation. That means more resources can be diverted to them in schools and other activities. Daycares pressed for money because of a sudden drop in the supply chain may start lowering fees a bit for a while. Colleges receive less applicants, mortgage lending, etc... And since a lot of the families that can afford to have kids in a pandemic are probably more affluent, that means a better selection of romantic partners close to the same birth year with better than average socioeconomic status.

It’s a great time. You don’t want to have your kid during a massive boom. They’ll just be a mini boomer.

I guess, although I do believe I've heard the argument that the baby boomers had every step of their lives tended to politically because of what a massive voting block they represented - nobody wanted to screw over that block. Small generation? Ok let's sacrifice them to the benefit of other interests!

Outside the couples though, there's a lot less mingling going on. Dating during Covid... Awkward.

Reply on news.ycombinator.com