Comment by jbob2000 | Hacker News Reader

Comment by jbob2000 | Hacker News Reader

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I empathize with this person. It’s clear from his story he does not have a support network.

I think many of the decisions you make that are good decisions are helped by your friends and family. When people act alone or without support, they tend to make bad decisions. (Not to say this is always the case, just something I’ve noticed and felt in myself - I make bad decisions when I feel alone)

The first mistake he made was not seeking assistance after the stabbing incident. Either he didn’t trust anyone or he simply didn’t have anyone he could turn to to take him in. Many people would be able to go back to their parents or stay with a friend after something like that, but he felt that going homeless was the only option.

Even if I wanted to go homeless, I can think of a number of people who would literally drag me off the street and in to their house. Where was that for this person?

Surgery is a decision that an individual cannot make alone, it’s too overwhelming, you need support to get through that.

Thank you for your thoughts but you sir are selling me short.

>The first mistake he made was not seeking assistance after the stabbing incident

Sadly I found no assistance. I clarified some things about the surgery decision in another comment that may enlighten you.

>going homeless was the only option

No friends, no family. I have a brother who graduated Harvard Law under Dershowitz and worked for Weinstein. My younger brother. He called the police to tell them I was suicidal and they showed up at my ex-girlfriend's house to haul me away. (I was not, and have never been suicidal).

Sadly for me but luckily for you, you have much more support.

In your story, you are the unfortunate recipient of a shit stick from everyone:

- your brother, a successful attorney who lied to the police to commit you

- your shelter, who kicked you out randomly without cause (people who run and work at shelters are generally well-intended

- your roommate, who literally attacked you with a knife completely randomly

- your lawyer, and potentially the surgeon he recommended

- the chiropractor

- the other driver

Each is believable, especially the chiropractor, but you’re essentially the completely passive and no-fault recipient of a giant shit stick from like 7 different people in short order.

I hate to ask this but do you think it’s possible there’s some common thread here? Your past behavior, mental health, drug use (and thus being exposed to people who attack others with knives during disputes), etc?

There may be a longer family history here where support networks got burned - two most common I've seen are drug use and mental health issues. Criminal justice involvement much lower on list.

For transitional job programs - you don't get kicked out w out a reason - they work with lots of people. They agree not usually as ocial workers though - program is about jobs and employers usually.

Ok to use them for mail like onboarding paperwork from employers. Because of liability and other risks (folks can be hustling etc still) usually not ok too use mail service for other reasons.

>Ok to use them for mail like onboarding paperwork from employers. Because of liability and other risks (folks can be hustling etc still) usually not ok too use mail service for other reasons.

That's it. Thank you.

This person tried to do something helpful for me by sending a care package. Had she told me upfront I would've said no dont do it. I knew the rules. I wasnt expecting her to send me anything.

Sorry - that sucks. I've done job reentry work - safest bet is to just give address to employers - they rarely send stuff anyways and def not care packages!

Thank you for responding. There is a common thread (me) and it includes all of my strengths and weaknesses. But no mental health or bad behaviour or drug use in my past.

Please dont get mad but even what you have summarized about me is not accurate. It seems as if you have dramatized my setbacks because I certainly dont have such a long list of people to point fingers at?

If I seem indignant its because it feels like your model wants to kill me by statistic because I am a fat tail data point.

Underneath I have had it rough no doubt, rougher than anyone with 99% SAT and 99% GMAT (logic) deserves.

i‘ve been watching interviews with homeless people on the Invisible People youtube channel (highly recommend), and one thing that struck me is how skin deep most support networks are. having friends and family vanish the second they could come up with a reasonable excuse seems to be the hardest part for many of them.

Its dangerous to talk to anybody out here. I feel like I am taking a huge risk even posting about it.

If someone is close enough to talk to you they are close enough to hurt you.

To your point I had reached out to a collge girlfriend after my accident in 2017. She asked for my address and I gave her c/o Chrysalis which is a work help program here in Santa Monica. Unfortunately, she wanted to do somethinf nice so she sent a care package of shampoo and other things but I will never know. Chrysalis kicked me out for 'abusing' their mail service. I never even saw the package she sent to me. I received 2 dentist bills, 0 responses to the resumes i was sending out, and 1 unannounced care package. I am so clearly not an abuser of anything except possibly myself somehow.

Thank you. I would upvote your comment but havent yet found out how.

> I would upvote your comment but havent yet found out how

Click the little upward-pointing triangle next to the username at the top of the comment. When the triangle disappears, you've upvoted. Upvotes can't be undone.

upvotes can be undone with the unvote button.

Holy shit, I never noticed that link until now.

You, sir, get an upvote that I will most certainly not be withdrawing.

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