This is a classic case of double standards. We want one set of standards god people we agree with and another set of standards for people we disagree with.
To avoid this, we institute a standard across the board for everyone, like them or dislike them.
And yes, it's fundamentally OK to hold police to a higher standard than the general public, including literal children. I'm not sure why this is in question.
Your last sentence is a common fallacy: just because I pick a certain set of annoyances on a scale of trade-offs (in this case, the scale of living in an apartment to living in the wilderness) doesn't mean I am required to unquestioningly soak up all those annoyances. If that's your logic, you could never speak up about any problem you could in principle escape from, even if that escape would result in bigger problems. This "leave if you don't like it" approach to criticism, where leaving is very expensive and especially where the solution is very cheap, is also not ok (as it more obviously would not be ok in a political context).
I'm not asking for a lot. Just use headphones.
Also, you need more than having passed the academy to become an officer of the law that can make standard, non-citizen's arrests.
But yes, I hold the police to higher standards of professional conduct than I do common criminals.
I'm not saying there aren't some abusive, nasty cops out there. But the "nice" cops aren't so effective when dealing with nasty people.
Number 1 way to prevent violence during arrests, or avoid arrest is (Ding Ding!) BE RESPECTFUL.
So initially I don't present as middle class, but once they get a hint of the fact that I am, you can watch them change their behavior nearly instantly. Other times, they don't ask questions like that and have then for instance lied about my drivers license being revoked, taken it, and then pretended like that never happened later, requiring my dash cam footage to even get them to admit they pulled me over.
My friends of color aren't typically even given the chance to re-calibrate their class position to the police by being asked questions like that.