why are cloudflare workers any more "sketchy" than AWS, azure or GCP?
I could make the case that Javascript is a sketchy language for implementing business logic but that’s a matter of taste.
I would argue your case for cloudflare workers being "sketchy" only applies if you're confident you're better at "automate provisioning and configuration" than cloudflare.
In the end you have two choices: run your own hardware and networking, control everything; or, use a "cloud" infrastructure provider and accept you don't really have control.
Once you've given up fundamental control of the hardware networking and OS, I don't really see the advantage of managing provisioning and configuration. I definitely don't see a sensible argument that not doing so is "sketchy".