I've acted terribly towards women I loved, and regretted it deeply later. I truly wish they had said something, as I never want to make someone feel that way again.
</unwarranted advice from a stranger>
I had a mother that would always focus on shortcomings in any given situation (i.e learning to read/ ski/ cook), and, as a result, I've developed an internal voice that is obsessively focused on what I've done wrong (I don't ignore the good, but I simply note it quickly and move on to the shortcomings). I've found that I respond better to this criticism, and it is imperative to my "learning flow". Just the same, when dealing with people I care deeply about I operate in the exact same fashion.
It helps to be reminded of the fact that it is not helpful, and even hurtful, to treat others this way, but it is difficult for me to switch between various methods of assessing a situation/ event.