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>Think of it more like a first date and you each pay for your own meal.

Reasonable point, but many companies expect you do to a reasonably substantial technical test (minimum half a days work, often more) after a quick chat with their HR people. I usually refuse unless they have managed to convince me that I really want the job and I am not competing with ten others for the job.

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I usually interview them. Asking a lot of questions during the interview. The bad employers/HR often get frustrated because they see interviews as some wacky control/power thing where they expect your questions only at the end. In reality I see it as a way to find out their views on what they see as just one of many employment situations. After all, they're trying to sell their workplace as being good to operate in. If they're unwilling to answer basic questions about it then they're suspicious.

This has become a good filter.

hiring manager here, this is advice that everyone should take. looking back at hires that didn't work out through my career, unsurfaced expectations mismatches are the main root cause. even if both parties are reasonable and "good".

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