OP can host his own server and invite his friends and they can say whatever they want there.... but no one has any obligation to give him a venue.
If I have a shitty band and I want to book your venue for a gig, you have every right to say to me "no, your band is too shitty for my venue, I don't want to degrade myself or the public in that way."
There's very little nuance here at all, no one is saying he is not allowed to be a terrible person, they're saying they don't want to be associated with him because he's a terrible person.
I think most people do not think this is true.
I think moderation is hard and I’m generally in favor of private companies being able to moderate how they want (with something like Urbit being a good alternative for a user owned network).
That said, the word policing around this and wsb in particular (a pretty good natured community really) is pretty off.
I think you’re wrong on this one.
To be clear, it absolutely is.
https://www.specialolympics.org/stories/impact/why-the-r-wor...
I'm genuinely hoping the huge number of sophists trying to defend it are doing so because they genuinely feel kind of bad for having done so and don't want to comprehend the moral implications of having used it casually for years.
So yes, depending on the context using retard as an insult is worse than many other things. It might not be to you, but so might have been the n-word a few generations before. Just because a lot of people don't get it, doesn't mean it is okay.
Edit: and now that you know that this insult might cut two ways (because you never know who has a disabled relative), you might also deem it less useful.
I think there’s a difference between using the word to target someone who is disabled and using it the way it’s used on wsb.
I also think there’s an irony in calling me “not the brightest bulb” for thinking this, which is a euphemistic way to say dumb (or even the word in question) in a way that’s more targeted than most of the forbidden word’s use on wsb.
I also don’t use “retarded” in writing either, I just don’t see as much issue with it in the wsb context.
Try being a white person and using the n-word in any context at all. Apart from an incredibly narrow set of contexts, it's deeply offensive and will be called out as such. Joking with your other white friends isn't one of the acceptable contexts.
I don’t think the use of the word retarded is the same.
You’ve picked out the similarities, but have ignored what I would argue are more important differences.
I suspect we’re not going to agree on this, so probably okay to just leave it here.
Also: just because these thoughts spring to my mind doesn't mean I deterministically from now on think that person is stupid etc. I had my best friends use these words in an unreflected way.
I agree with you actually - I generally find overuse of profanity in real life leaves a bad impression on me too.
I just think the wsb context is a bit of a different thing and the word use in some contexts is fine.
It's also likely some of this is colored by other related word policing I find to be more stupid, (like saying 'on the other hand' is ableist). I have a general bias towards not policing words.