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Comment by endymi0n | Hacker News Reader

6. Don‘t have young kids at home.

Sorry for the unqualified snark here, just couldn‘t resist. The realities couldn‘t be more different for different people at this time.

Someone recently asked me whether I enjoyed my Corona free time as well.

I didn’t know what to answer as could not even comprehend the concept.

I‘m missing everything. Time for myself. Silence. Holidays. Physical movement. Sanity.

Work and Noise, non-stop, around the clock. Still falling behind on all projects with limited understanding of single colleagues with more time to kill than Netflix has content.

I love those rascals, but I‘m crashing on the couch every night and barely make it out of bed the next day. Just functioning and surviving.

Never been more exhausted in my life before.

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Yeah, I think the people that had the best of this shitty situation are introverted, no child couples with stable remote supporting jobs.

My wife and I are toast by kids'(2&4) bedtime, and can only sit on the couch watching something and reel from the day.

Like Ron Swanson said, I miss silence, and the absence of noise.

> Yeah, I think the people that had the best of this shitty situation are introverted, no child couples with stable remote supporting jobs.

These people are also the most overrepresented on various internet fora.

I think singles are more represented than couples.

I had a "Covid fling" with someone who I would have never dated otherwise. Obviously, that made things a lot more fun than they otherwise would have been.

> These people are also the most overrepresented on various internet fora.

They have the most time.

this. same situation as you. Do you have any tips? Mine is having a predefined schedule throughout the day (semi formal schedule will work) works great. Also, are both of you working? how do you work? 6 hrs each?

I am a childless couple, and although I love my partner and there have been no major fights or anything during this whole pandemic, we are living in a small 1 1/2 room flat and sometimes it's just stressful to go from working from home to constantly sitting on top of each other. There is no retreat, either you go to the bedroom/office and the other person stays in the living room or you are stuck on top of each other. All in all I'm very grateful for our privileged situation, but I would not say I enjoy lockdowns or the pandemic.

Your comment resonated with me. 3 kids, (6,4,1) so my days start around 5am with the baby and basically alternating between working and helping with kids alternating every 30 minutes until 8. Every day.

I totally feel you. It's certainly been really hard for us. 4 year old going crazy, me at my desk all day most days. We try to cover for the other one while they get personal time, but it's me with the full time job.

This past few weeks I've started work at 6am (it's 6:07 right now) so that I can create some more space during the day and give her time.

I give my son some focused attention / special time in the middle of the day and in the evening. It's important that he gets a good intense dose of me and I'm not distracted when with him. Without that he's feeling unwanted (why does papa work all the time?) and he acts out. He refuses to join us for dinner: "I'm working" he says.

I was burnt out. Right now I'm doing well.

> 6. Don‘t have young kids at home.

I disagree. I've got more kids than you do (edit: I misread your post, I'm not clear how many children you have. My apology for the mistake), all at difficult ages including a 1 year old. They are one of the few things making COVID seclusion tolerable for me.

The near constant interaction can be exhausting, but it has also been very rewarding. I know my kids better than ever and have gotten to participate in a lot of moments I would've missed.

I find that the narrative I give myself around things like this is very important. If I told myself I was barely surviving my kids I would probably feel that way. Instead I focus on how lucky I am to be surrounded by my family, and that it's a wonderful thing to have unprecedented amounts of time with them. I've perhaps never been happier with my family than I have been during the pandemic.

None of that is a criticism of people who are struggling. Just looking to offer another point of view.

> I've got more kids than you do

They never said how many kids they had, which makes it hard to take your comment seriously.

You don't know what their kids are like, how much spousal support they have, the floorplan or acoustics of their home, how hard their work is, or what their threshold for noise is.

> None of that is a criticism of people who are struggling. Just looking to offer another point of view.

No. It's easy to convince yourself that that sort of thing is helpful, but all you're really saying is that you can't understand because your particular circumstances are better.

You're saying that lockdown added value to your life with kids. That's not an argument that having kids is easier than not having kids.

Life is complex. A change can be beneficial in some ways and harmful to others. And you have many children and keeps wanting more, you are probably an extravert not an introvert.

Same boat here. 2 kids - 2.5 years and 2 months. All day just cycling between work and kids every 30-40 mins. Exhausted and falling behind projects at the same time with limited understanding from superiors and colleagues who either are single or can afford child care.

> Don‘t have young kids at home

I've really enjoyed the extra time with my six-year-old daughter rather than sending her off to school. Having her around the house and able to come into my office for random cuddles during the working day is a joy.

I'm not dismissing the challenges you're facing but single no child people are suffering too, just very different challenges. I've spent almost a year alone in a flat with no separate working space and unable to do any of my usual hobbies and social activities. The challenges are very different but both groups have challenges.

I personally don't have children and I didn't _really_ understand how difficult it is to have kids at home while working. When I moved back East, I did spend 3 days at my brothers.

He has two adorable little girls; 1.5 years old and 2 months.

His kids are pretty calm, by most standards.. but you can't let the older one out of sight for a few seconds.

I certainly feel your pain even though I don't have kids.

Question: Tell me how much you love going to the bathroom or getting washed now. It's the only time you have to yourself lol

At the beginning of this, our day care closed down for a couple of months and it was tough (thankfully grandma got stuck with us at the time). Things got much better when daycare reopened, though we had to switch due to moving and had a misfire with a daycare that was too big and too restrictive for our tastes (we found one that could be less restrictive because they had fewer kids).

Restrictive with covid precautions?

My daughters daycare told us point blank no staff wear masks unless answering the door and they “don’t want to close for a virus” (you can read between the lines). One of the teachers also shops for instacart half days. No thank you.

Staff in our state (WA) are required to wear masks. Kids under 5 aren’t required to wear masks. They take precautions, but at least we are allowed to escort our kid to class and talk to the teacher everyday.

If you can, get some noise cancelling headphones. That really helps with getting silence and some time for yourself.

I think I’d rather be tired than lonely. I’ve feel like I’ve got no reason to live.

Hey, I know it’s hard to think otherwise right now, but there are many great reasons to live and you being alive and in hopefully good health is a great gift. There are many people that are in bad situations and one way to not be lonely is to try and connect with others you might be able to help just by being there.

Hang on and things will get better!

This is going to be over soon, so look forward to it and start getting ready (eat, exercise, and relearn grooming/dressing you forgot during lockdown). More so than before covid, other people are going to want to meet you.

Hey, reach out anytime if you just want someone to chat with. Email is in my bio.

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