Many of these properties follow from the design principles of decentralization and censorship resistance.
> Proof of work is inherently wasteful
This seems unavoidable for distributing new coins more fairly than just letting the creators print themselves a huge pile out of thin air, which would centralize coin ownership.
> The ever expanding blockchain is wasteful (in storage, computation, network).
Bandwidth costs are unavoidable for both transaction publishing (censorship resistance) and for verifying the transaction history in the Initial Block Download (decentralization requires widespread full verification),
although the latter could in principle be mostly eliminated with a zero knowledge proving system.
> Having every transaction recorded forever is the opposite of anonymity
This is not necessitated by the design principles. Bitcoin chose to make amounts visible so that total supply could be transparently audited and because Confidential Transactions had yet to be developed (one variety of which is perfectly sound, needing no cryptographic assumptions to guard against inflation). Allowing address re-use seems like a design mistake that could have been avoided, e.g. with stealth addresses.
> The energy usage is insane.
This is a direct consequence of the high price of Bitcoin; i.e. needing to secure a high market map against double spending attacks. Which goes back to the top item.
> The throughput is way too slow.
Even with second layer solutions, we still need on-chain onramps and settlements. Low throughput is the price to pay for censorship resistance.