My experience has been the exact opposite; in fact, the name calling and polarization (in particular polarized instances) is off the charts. This is compounded by the fact that some instances host certain porn others instances don't even want to cache, and many instances have block lists against the very permissive instances (not surprising, going by the Scott Alexander quote up thread as a testament to the kind of 'witches' in these instances).
There's some intelligent content on Fedi. Most of the content is just as vapid as regular social media, but written by a different group of people.
So i lost interest.
Tusky: https://github.com/tuskyapp/Tusky
Fedilab: https://framagit.org/tom79/fedilab/
SubwayTooter: https://github.com/tateisu/SubwayTooter
All of them are foss and developed by a single person or a small team.
As for the system requirements. Mastodon might be a bit heavy but you could try another server software with activitypub support.