As an aside, your commentary about Google alerting to phishing emails seems like you're misunderstanding and trying to use this to further your "it's all random!" claims. They aren't flagging it because of the sender, but instead because the contents included a URL on the blacklist. Google re-scans and when they find URLs that are now blacklisted, they warn about Phishing. This isn't new and they've done it for years, and it seems pretty obvious and logical.
e.g. "That email you got a while back that claimed it's from the Netflix billing problem website is actually phishing. If you gave them details, that's a problem".
"Protecting end users from nothing at all (like I said, there is no offending URL) is not more important than making sure Google doesn't literally gatekeep the entire Internet"
This system protects countless people from malware and phishing daily. I have no reason to believe your particular claims about this (though I'm skeptical given that you are blocking details that would allow others -- such as Google -- to repudiate your claims. Why block the subdomain? If it hosts static resources, what's the concern?).