As salaamu alaikum. I love you. Thank you for sharing this post and making the most profound comment that I have read on this site, bar none.
It is strange to assume that two people who are different by their very nature can be “equal”. The sense of equality between a man and a woman can only come about by the fulfillment of the rights that exist between the two of them, which are different but have to be observed reciprocally.
The problem is that we (meaning humanity at large) are totally unaware of the rights that we owe to each other. Not just in the household, but outside of it as well. Worst of all, we are unaware of the rights that are due to our Creator.
May Allah, the One who is Most Gracious, strengthen you and your wife. Ameen.