> it cripples users for years before they can figure out what's actually going on under the hood.

it doesn't - python hides the unimportant aspect of the computer; namely, it abstracts the memory allocation and resource process. You treat the computer, under python, as an abstract machine which has unlimited memory, and don't worry about its use. you focus on algorithmic understanding and fundamental data structures.

Once you grasped the computer science fundamentals, then you tear open the box and learn the underlying impl. of a computer - such as memory allocation, and assembly, etc (ostensibly, by making your own operating system using C, and/or writing a compiler using C).

you can replace python with haskell, which imho, does an even better job as a first language.