I'm in the same boat as you - I'm glad parler is gone but I go back and forth on the implications of the ability of a few to silence so many - the most reasonable way I've come to think of it is if David Duke (huge racist scumbag) suddenly wanted to go on CNN and speak for an hour once a week - should CNN let him? You wouldn't think twice about it, you'd likely think - why would CNN have to comply? It's not a perfect analogy, but that's the best way I've been able to think of it.
In the end, it's lose-lose for non fascists. While we're all debating whether there was overreach and or if it should be mitigated, actual fascists are regrouping and planning their next assault.