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I'd settle for being able to contain whatever level of intelligence it is that writes papers like this.

Just don't tell them how far they are from reality and they'll keep writing the papers. Intelligence contained.

That's easy. You set up a PhD program...

Ah! Academia is the containment mechanism!

Yup. Publish or perish is a denial-of-service scheme that slows down recursive self-improvement to the levels deemed safe for society.