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Scrumplestiltskin. He promises to teach you to spin stories into code but then takes credit for your prototype.

God-Emperor of Scrum. The code must flow.

Now fly my scrumlings! Bring me their estimates! Eeehehehe

Meh. A real Evil Scrum Lord makes his victims enter the data by themselves into Jira.

Twice. Once in points after Planning Poker has sized the story -- the second time in hours.

OMG planning poker. Never again.

Hell no. At least then I know it’s entered in a sensible way. If I let the scrum lord do it it’ll be a mess.

In the grim darkness of the future, there is only Scrum!

Value based scrum black belt.

> scrum Pope

his holiness will make his presence known in due time

Somehow I suspect that something like this is at work inside the Vatican.

Pope Scrootus the 1st