Pushing 45 now, having worked in a lot of industries, I say this is bad advice. Most people who want you to talk less and listen more are just trying to control you and in corporate landscapes, never ever assume anyone is trying to help you.

I wasted a lot of years staying silent, reminding myself that other people know more than me. Actually, all the smart, competent people were the ones being quiet in the first place, and all the people saying “talk less, listen more” like they are life coach gurus turned out to be the overconfident know-it-alls and people with duplicitous motives.

The problem is that a lot of young people are smart and have great ideas that more experienced people didn’t have. But because the young people don’t have political capital, the older people need a way to set up political gatekeeping and launder credit for sourcing the ideas from younger people.

It’s near impossible to truly tell if you’re dealing with that level of political dirtbag (usually yes) or if you’re dealing with rare good-natured people who want to give you real advice. So in the prisoner’s dilemma of it, young people have no rational choice but to defect and push for their own agendas. And they should.

When I meet young people now, I try to remind myself: they need to be heard, they need to talk. I need to listen. I shouldn’t patronize them by saying, “talk less, listen more.” I should presume they are equals, and keep my opinions private if their youthful exuberance causes them to put their foot in their mouth. They need to speak and be heard to grow, and I shouldn’t be set in my ways and miss the good ideas that occur to generations who experienced a whole different world and landscape in their formative years. Their perspective adds to mine, it doesn’t need me to correct it.