Ask HN: How can I help my son with Autism? | Hacker News Reader

Ask HN: How can I help my son with Autism?

46 pointsAlpha202032 comments

He is 23 years old now and has completed all the required courses for an associates degree in computer science at the local community college except for some core courses that are very language intensive. Some of the courses he has done is Java 6, Data Structures, discrete math, computer architecture, Calculus 2 and Calculus 3 honors. His overall GPA is around 3.5. In high school, he took AP computer science and AP Calculus and got 4. His language comprehension and communications skills are very low. We have been targeting his learning from an examination point of view where he would learn at home and spit it out in the tests. It took lot of written practice for him to learn anything and do well in the tests. So, he may not be able to code or program given a spec.

Since the start of the pandemic he has been home. Now we see that his skills are deteriorating and have started teaching him HTML/CSS and Python. Later on, thinking of introducing Selenium. May be a long road, but the intention is to get him started on software testing. If practiced enough, he picks up on patterns.

Has always liked and built complex legos like architecture. We assume that is because of the clear instructions that comes with it.

Looking for suggestions on how we can help him. Any opportunities where he can be exposed to the work like environment and build his confidence. Any jobs that would involve math calculations but not much social interaction? We fear he may not have focus for a long time for work, although he has taken exams that have been four hours long with breaks.

Would appreciate any suggestions or advice. Thank you.

Unfortunately, in the US, if your son receives Social Security disability checks, he can lose them by proving he is able to work ( https://philip.greenspun.com/blog/2017/09/20/social-security... , note that page refers to two different disability programs: one based on the disabled person's own work record, the other where a child can qualify for disability payments based on their parent's work record: https://www.ssa.gov/pubs/EN-05-10026.pdf ). It's a terrible disincentive that even trying to do something can disqualify you for the safety net you would need if your attempt fails.

Some states (say, Nevada) have wonderful programs and can assign you a social worker or other advocate who can recommend organizations that might help. Other states (say, South Carolina) are more bare-bones, or require you to fill out a 100-page application to be put on a multi-year waiting list before you can access the state's impressive resources. If you don't already know where your state fits on that continuum, you might want to ask your county health department or local school district (even if your son has aged out of their programs, they should know who to talk to).

I agree with this. I'll add that if you want him to work and still receive aid you're probably better off moving to a state or country that doesn't treat their disabled so badly.

Of "first world" countries US is the worst place to be if you have disabilies.

Agree. Will check the state programs. Thanks.

Microsoft has a program for people with autism. They are looking for software engineering interns. It might be worth a shot.

https://www.microsoft.com/en-us/diversity/inside-microsoft/c...

I agree with this. It can be worth reaching out to other medium to large companies to see if they have anything like it. For example, the company I work at is accommodating for many different disabilities, but I don't think they have a specific program for it.

I can't remember, but I think the wallstreet journal or business insider had an article in it covering how some autistic people are thriving at financial companies.

I've seen a few companies offering these schemes now, which is great

As a father with an autistic child I've realized the best thing i can do is support these schemes at organisation I work at. If you can help autistic people gain acceptance in workplaces then it opens the door for more

Awesome. Looks like they have a virtual intern program coming up early next year. Will see on it goes.

I believe you as a family have good capacity for founding the company, by making some good tech product or a game. And many foundations would finance it for sure.

As you said your son likes Lego and based on his skills, I believe there are a lot of good ideas to make some game or product that would satisfy Lego fans (I’m also a big fan of Lego). Here is one idea that maybe could be interesting and I would pay for it: if you remember the game ‘Gearhead garage’ (http://www.gearheadgarage.com/), I would be happy to get some famous Lego packs (like Batman 1989) which has some mistakes and then virtually fix these mistakes to finish the Lego set. Also, it could be a game where I’m just solving Lego sets virtually.

As you receive Social Security checks, and based on skills you have as a family, I believe you can create some amazing product. I would be happy to help with marketing. And I would be happy to see updates on this.

Very interesting. Is it possible for us reach out to you understand the ideas better? Didn't see contact info in profile. I have my email in my profile.

Sometimes people with autism have a "special interest" that they are highly interested in and can easily hyperfocus on - like you mention Legos (I love those too by the way). If you can tie in the the special interest, that may help with the focus / attention span?

You are right, he loves math but his language is weak. Trying to see on how to leverage that interest. At some point language is needed to understand and solve math problems where he gets lost.

As an aside, he has an obsession with prime numbers. If allowed, he would sit down and play with prime number calculator forever to see if a number is prime and look up its prime factors. Now, given a number up to 10000, he can tell the factors from memory.

Will check on the Legos connection.

Searching for prime numbers is a really good CS problem actually, and one algorithm that is very easily coded by a 1st semester student is the Sieve of Eratosthenes:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sieve_of_Eratosthenes

Some other ideas of math + cs are things like visualizations, maybe doing visualizations of equations like fractals could be interesting.

I'm also reminded of a recent HN submission (though can't find it off hand) that the part of the brain that reads code isn't actually the same as the one that parses language! I just found that interesting.

Good luck and Merry Christmas!

> We fear he may not have focus for a long time for work

Maybe take a different approach and give structure to what he already does naturally instead of trying to force a more typical academic or professional life. You say he likes legos; think "lego artist" or "lego youtube channel" versus software developer. Or maybe there are other interests that he takes to naturally that have far more potential but are overlooked due to being unconventional.

As someone without autism experience (and also less coding qualifications than your son):

- things I think would have helped me during my own 'development'; pursuing and finishing side projects of various ambition levels, networking (non formal) or looking for mentorship (even on a little project). Understanding that it's ok to contact strangers / organisations outside of professional interaction, to ask them a few questions. Doing things for fun and involving others.

- If he is good with instructions, maybe it's an idea to have small flow charts in a small notebook to help with things like communicating or decision making? The flowchart could direct him to a templates asking for help, signaling discomfort etc. (just like so many people could use some help in writing effective emails).

- maybe he can keep an online notebook, to journal his activities / learnings, projects. to practice his communication, sort his thoughts. As a reference for communicating with others.

- Kinda meta, but perhaps there is value in involving or stimulating him to have informal (slow and spaced) interactions with people around the topic of your post. Just talking to people in the professional (or hobby) field. You can set up questions or talking points together, or even a plan, get some insights, meet people, practice interaction .. no pressure, no strings attached. Just make sure the other person understands the goal and keeps it positive / light. I'm sure there are people open for this and they will have more to offer than me haha.

- ... and then of course you can wrap all this up in a project supporting people with autism in computerworld. (I don't mean this condescending! I'm just reasoning that your family is the most suited to address this topic, and it's a worthy thing to work on. Granted it might be draining to work on.)

Good suggestions, thanks.

You might try getting him tested for nutritional deficiencies.

Years ago, I read about a vitamin therapy protocol that was helpful for kids with autism and I put my son on the parts of it I could find, which was some B vitamins and magnesium. After a few months, his handwriting improved and so did his social skills.

He's in his thirties and a lot more functional than I ever thought he would be. To this day, when he starts making me too crazy the solution is "he needs B vitamins." (I typically try to get some steak into him at that point so he stops being weird and difficult.)

(See also: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=25051738)

Thanks. We have tested him for nutritional deficiencies and vitamin supplementation is making a difference. Doing it for a few years now.

Are you looking to improve his technical skills or his social skills?

Are there any people in the past he has gotten along with and might be able to follow up with for long term mentorship or friendship?

Trying to see on how to make him learn and use skills where he will be productive for himself and the society.

We have tried to provide speech therapy for a long time. But something in language doesn't kick in. Have exposed him to social skills group (small and large). Friends have tried to interact with him, he has difficulty responding. So the friends gets frustrated after sometime.

In the Netherlands we have companies who specialize in providing jobs to autistic people. Maybe something like this exists wherever you're from.

I believe Microsoft has a program for this too

Already looking at MS, will check other companies in the US.

There's a company in Australia called Auticon (https://auticon.com.au/) that might be worth checking out/contacting for ideas. They only employ IT consultants with Autism. Have you looked into roles using big data? Especially data around some of the things here's interested in.

My first coding job was as a test automation engineer. It was very code intensive and literally no one wanted to talk to me about unit tests I was adding to a virtually untested Java application. If your son has an aptitude for writing tests, maybe he’d excel at that. I also used to be a technical recruiter. Feel free to contact me. I’d be happy to have a no bullshit talk to you about your son’s situation. The tl;dr are is that your son’s level of success will depend on how much he can operate on his own (e.g. could your son have asked this question on HN without your help?)

Sure, will PM you. Thanks.

I suffer from Asperger's and I recently found a hormone therapy that helps me a lot. Oxytocin Nasal Spray. It's been life changing for me. http://oxitoc.in

You should stop seeing it as a disease and start seeing it as a gifted potential.

So true. That's how we have come so far, but lost on where to go next.

I can recommend checking out a couple of lucid dream / meditation techniques that help a lot with focus issues. It could also help dealing with the information overflow from the day during the night in the first lucid phase, because you'll have enough time in your lucid dream to process the information and filter out unnecessary stuff.

In the martial arts world, meditation is used to raise awareness and focus and to help plan ahead fight scenarios in a meditative state. It took me a while to figure out that more experienced "masters" usually are able to dream lucid in their medidative state.

It helped me a _lot_ when I was younger. The perceived social influences still cannot be blocked out sometimes when I'm not well but at least I am not freaking out anymore when there's an untidy object in the room.

What does he want to do?

He hasn't shown any particular interest in anything that he wants to do independently. It is our constant struggle to find this.

Perhaps something related to an existing interest? Help catch poachers etc

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