Posting anon for obvious reasons. There is no alignment of interest for most employees with stock options, and anyone that things so is being naive or foolish.
Firstly, you have no idea what the cap table looks like as an employee, so it isnt clear whether you alignment is equivalent to a grain of salt or a car or a private island. And if it werent a grain of salt, the company would be eager to tell you.
Next, founders often get partial cashouts, so their goals are different from yours. They already got their nice house in palo alto, their nice car, and a kids's college fund. Now they are swinging bats for a grand slam. You are the ball they are hitting -- most likely they strike out. You lose, they still win, just not as big.
Next, VC-installed management, friends of the board, and other insiders are already cashing out while you "wait for the big IPO." The insiders are getting nice cash bonuses. They are on incentive plans where they get $1/2 Million or more for hitting targets. Or they are 20somethings who are mysteriously senior directors or VPs earning cushy 400k salaries. You arent.
Instead, you are taking your "startup salary", a big discount over big company stock. You're working just as hard. Each year you give up big perks and big pay at big companies you could be working at. If you cant take it anymore, you lose, because you have to exercise illiquid stock and pay tax with real money. If you get bullied or have been sexually harrassed and are desperate to find another job, you still lose -- , because you have to exercise illiquid stock and pay tax with real money.
Except there are a line of suckers, often out of college, willing to take this bet. So the music plays on.