I was right in the middle of something, and my first instinct was to Google how to stop the damn reboot. Of course, my computer was already rebooting by then.
I now know to turn on the setting to postpone updates for a month. But wow, I can't believe such unbelievably hostile UX is the out of the box experience.
(Also, side note, I'm pleasantly surprised at how robust and hassle free the Windows experience has otherwise become. I may even prefer this laptop to my MacBook, which I never thought I'd find myself thinking in a million years.)
Not super great when the whole point of not upgrading to the latest BIOS was because it introduced a critical bug.
Until that happens, consider setting your active hours manually in the Update & Security -> Windows Update settings panel. The update system is designed to avoid automatic restarts during active hours.
You can also pause updates for a period of time as well when you know that you don't want your system disrupted overnight.
I empathize with your frustration around the timing and I would encourage you to file feedback asking for more control over when updates happen.
With that being said, I now have the box in question completely disconnected from the internet and I task it remotely via serial.
Don't do that on a computer you care about...
I now have my render box completely disconnected from the internet and I task it remotely.
Specifically, in group policy:
Computer Configuration > Administrative Templates > Windows Components > Windows Update > "Configure Automatic Updates" and "No auto-restart with logged-on users for scheduled automatic update installations"