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Comment by giantg2 | Hacker News Reader

This was recently posted and should be helpful.

https://anonymousplanet.github.io/thgtoa/guide.html

"aren't able to really do much until something terrible happens again."

Really hoping this doesn't mean there isn't any physical separation or isn't a restraining order. If this is still occurring, her immediate concern should be physical security and the will to do whatever may be necessary as it escalates.

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Awesome link, thanks. Good all around useful info!

There is a restraining order, active court cases, bail, all that stuff. The victim is packed up and moving out of their shared apartment today to a neutral location. I guess what I meant by that is that we are in a rural area. Police response time to a 911 call is regularly 45+ minutes. A violent spouse can do a lot of things in 45 minutes. Best to avoid that entirely.

I'm reasonably sure that the victim's physical security will be assured as of this evening. I'm looking forward, trying to think ahead of any ways (technical or not) that the abuser could use to find their new location.

If it's that rural, he will find her by waiting for her at the common places and tracking her from there (the grocery store, work, Walmart). Unless she leaves the area, changes jobs, kids and everyone follow those digital rules, etc. At this point it depends on how determined he is to cause harm and to what level.

Also, anything like a lease or DL update can lead to the address being found in a background check.

Jeez, yeah, Wally-World would be a great place to look. Gonna approach that topic a little slowly, the solution is pretty drastic. Hopefully the court system will work out and the abuser will end up in prison for a good while. At least enough time to figure out the next move.

Apparently our state has a program for secret mailing addresses. From what I gather, victim advocates can set up a mailing address at a state govt building and from there it'll get forwarded on. I think the plan is to use that for official documents for the foreseeable future.

That, or you set up an anonymous Wyoming (I think) LLC and register everything through that - leases, cars, etc.

I agree. Moving is job one, followed by legal name change (change the kids names too), followed by complete disconnecting from social media, followed by going off the grid for a bit, lay low for a bit. SSA will let you change your social security number in situations like this. If it’s a life and death matter, this is how you’ll have to do it.

Edit: Also consider hiring a private detective to see if the person is actually doing serious physical stalking, or buying things like guns.

I don’t understand why he wouldn’t have a GPS device if it’s that much of a threat. Her location doesn’t matter as much as his.

That could end up as part of the bail condition. Some places use it more than others. I'm not sure why it isn't more common. Police response time could still be an issue.

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