Death of a Product Manager

Beyond death of employees, the issue of bereavment for 20-something startup employees is something we don't talk about much... but sadly it happens to a lot of us. I went through this with my mother-in-law last year, and it was very hard. My company was very supportive and did the right thing for me, which was basically "we support whatever you need to do" and then checking in with emails every couple days.

For me, it was the first close family member I've ever had pass away, so I hadn't even thought about what I would do in the situation and I ended up planning a funeral.

We outsourced our PM function some years ago. After a couple of years working remotely with an excellent PM in Mumbai, we noticed that the spelling and grammar in his emails had changed radically. We asked through discrete channels whether our guy had had a stroke or something that impacted his writing. It turned out Habarjahn had actually died and been replaced, but they tried to sneak the new guy in on us without letting us know. Funny how you can form attachments with a co-worker you never even saw or spoke with. Now, though, we're equally fond of Narendra (assuming it's still him.)

Had a co-worker who committed suicide. I still vividly remember the all-hands we had when it was announced. The company behaved well; supported his widow (I am not sure of details, but I know that at least one manager was still in contact with her over a year later). We went to his funeral. I don't remember if counselors were available, but it wouldn't suprise me. About six months later the product shipped and we had put his name in it, in an easter egg. No one objected, at least that I heard of.

It was a depressing time in the middle of some of the hardest work I've ever done. I was single and unattached, and just dove into work as a coping mechanism, as did a number of other co-workers.

I actually thought this post was going to be about the 'death' of the Product Manager role in general. It's something that is implied all the time on HN - that product management is everyone's job but not discussed enough.

(I was toying whether the above was insensitive as it is off-topic to the somber post - but given Cranky PM's post isn't about a specific person or recent event and is just a set of guidelines to follow in general I hope no one takes offense)

In my experience, this is a good opportunity to gain insight on how sane a company really is. If a company puts there business before such a unique event, something is wrong.

I had such a case with the (rather expected, as in "old age") death of relative. Working freelance, we had to call a number of clients that I would have to take a few days off for funeral arrangements spontaneously. Luckily, all of them were very supportive and adjusted their timelines accordingly.

I don't know what I would have done if any of them had a problem with that situation. Chances are high I would have dropped the client as soon as possible.

As a manager, you better be especially careful and sensitive if it was suicide or homicide. I am not sure about the grief councilor thing, I have my own experiences there and am still not sure about the value.

If a company bungles this badly, one can only imagine how poorly they handle everything else.

Wow, that's a great blog (overall)! Thanks for linking to this!

i hate to say it, but the last sentence of this article is hilarious.