This interpretation never occurred to me. Little did I realise that I was subconsciously trying to imply that women are stupid and deceitful!
How would you have phrased it?
Use of stolen SIM lands person in jail.
"Use of stolen 3g card lands organism in jail" /scrubbed
And "stolen" is much too strong a word. Let's say "illicitly obtained".
And it wasn't the "use", it was the excessive use.
And there was a fine also, so you can't just leave it at "jail". That sounds judgmental, anyway. Call it "corrective action".
OK, now what have we got?
"Excessive use of illicitly obtained 3G card by conscious organism garners heavy corrective actions"
Ahh, much better. No one can possibly be offended by that. Right?
On this topic, a fantastic satirical article by Hofstadter about uses of gendered pronouns: http://www.cs.virginia.edu/~evans/cs655/readings/purity.html