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Comment by neom | Hacker News Reader

I was just talking to a friend about how deep my depression has gotten. It's at the point now where I'm too scared to go to sleep at night because I know it means I have to wake up and do another day.

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Congratulations on talking to a friend about it. That's a huge step and an uncomfortable one. Have you managed to speak to a medical professional? With depression that deep, it's definitely worth a try - there are things that can give you respite.

The best of luck, really and look after yourself.

I was suicidally depressed in 2017. A combination of medication, CBT, talk therapy and the love and care of other helping professionals got me better. I've never felt better. It gets better. My email is in my user info.

I wasn't suicidal in 2017, but every day felt like a literal nightmare, I hated living, every day was pain, and I didn't care if I lived or died. Today I'm happy and healthy. You can get out. Email is also in profile.

It's a weird place to be. Nothing matters. I got past the pain into a peaceful place. The state of California kept sending me a tax bill for $4,000 that I threw away. Eventually they seized my bank account and with penalties took out $12,000. My reaction was that it was interesting that they did that. It felt like I was watching someone else's life, maybe someone on TV.

Im no Psychiatrist but your description sounds like derealization which amongst other things is a symptom of depression. I would recommend consulting your doctor about this.

Thanks I did and recovered nicely from it through therapy and medication

And when you've been severely depressed and get better, I argue you feel better than anybody who has never suffered with it.

That's true for me. Everyday feels like a blessing.

FYI: Your email isn’t visible to other users (except moderators) right now—it has to be in the About field to be visible to everyone else.

Thanks. Fixed it.

Tomorrow's another day of trying to get better. It's not who you are, it's an illness that can perpetuate and dissipate. Every day is a project to get closer to the latter. Talking helps a shit load, but friends and family can't help you as much as you can, and the talking is you helping yourself.

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