As someone who grew up similar to you, I now realize the advantages of aggression. A few friends of mine took up coaching in boxing or MMA and the difference in confidence and dealing with completely unrelated situtations was visible. They were less afraid to be confrontational and more likely to get their way at work and other places. They got more dates and a lot more sex. Women and people in general will demonize some kinds of aggression but reward people who engage in it.