It's not "totalitarianism" if people get tired of your whatever-ism. It's basic human nature.
Instead of decrying that mechanism, be happy that people tell you to shut up/stop inviting you to parties/block you on Twitter.
Because all those are low-intensity interventions. They give you essential feedback, and do so rather early in the process.
Most importantly, they make it unnecessary to use the other method society has to enforce common rules: the criminal justice system.
If you believe society today is less free than it was in the past, just remember that until the 80s, most Americans lived in small towns. Nothing I see people today complaining about compares to the essential small-town experience of your church community (i. e. "the town") ostracising you for wearing white after Labor day, or having disabled child, or being too friendly to <anyone they don't like>.
And that's the premium experience reserved for the John Sinclairs. If you happen not to white and/or a man, your life had to follow a template like a MySpace page: you get to decide on decorations, and it's horrible either way.