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I'd never even consider to assign feminine or masculine traits to any of those words. Is this an "English as a first language"-thing?

Like you, I can see how some of those words could be more or less assertive, but I'd go as far as to argue that anyone connecting gender with assertiveness is outright sexist. :)

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The words themselves aren't, but the traits are based in gender stereotypes.

Being less assertive is considered a feminine quality. Being too assertive earns someone a label of "difficult to work with" "bossy" or cruder, "bitchy".

I personally don't like working with people that are too assertive, male or female. There is an intense energy and forced viewpoint that I don't enjoy the experienced of being pushed down my throat. Being more loud and more confident in what you're saying does not make you more right.

Same here. I really think it depends who is reading the cover letter and what they're looking for, doesn't it? I know if I'm reading a cover letter, and it's someone being "assertive" by telling me how awesome they are and how they like to assert control over others every sentence, I'm going to put it at the bottom of the pile, male or female.

Native English speaker here and I agree with you completely. When I saw the article I thought "What is feminine term?" until I got to the assertive stereotype.

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