Ask HN: How to handle a heartbreak? How to pull yourself together? | Hacker News Reader

Ask HN: How to handle a heartbreak? How to pull yourself together?

2 pointsjames12343 comments

I am going through a heartbreak and I also feel I am being overwhelmed with emotions.

It's affecting my career and my productivity.

How did you handle such a situation? Any resources or books that helped you?

I don't expect it to overcome over night, but at least I want to be in control that my work isn't affected.

P.S: Not sure if HN is the right place to post this, but I felt there might be people who have been through the same.

Be kind to yourself. Realize that emotions have a physical aspect in your body that you can't overcome with pure will any more than you could overcome, say, a broken arm with pure will. At least, not unless maybe you're some sort of meditation master, but I'm not and I'd guess most of us aren't either. Once the emotions are there in your body, it takes time for them to subside. Treat yourself well. Realize that it might not be possible for your work to not be affected. If you got a severe cold, you maybe would want to work but no matter how much you wanted your work to be unaffected, it would still be affected. I'm not comparing heartbreak to disease to imply that I think heartbreak is pathological - I don't think that it is, although I also don't necessarily think that it isn't. I'm bringing up disease and damage to the body to try to emphasize that strong emotions have a similar effect on and in the body once they start up, and sometimes they only subside with time and good self-care.

You posted a sane question to NH so I have faith in you :)

Endeavor to keep yourself busy and therefore distracted. Time will do the rest.

Once the initial intense emotions fade, you'll be able to reflect and move on, but getting there is key. If you dwell on your current emotions, it'll be tougher to move forward.

I wish I had something more elegant to say, something more relatable than: time.

...And it's not recommended to make large decisions without waiting a few days during these times of turmoil, to avoid rash or overly emotional actions.

Reply on news.ycombinator.com