Definitely not a winning strategy to assume things about people you don't know and condescend to them based on your (incorrect) assumptions. I have literally been to all of those countries (probably more than you have), and have lived in Europe for 10 years. I've also lived in Asia.
When I say China is pushing the envelope, I'm talking about their actions in Hong Kong, the South China Sea, Taiwan, and more.
When I say Russia is pushing the envelope, I'm talking about Georgia, Ukraine, Syria, etc.
You're making a bunch of points that I don't disagree with (average people don't want war / war is not economically productive), followed by a single point which undermines the rest of your thesis ("small group of people in power"). It doesn't matter what Average Joe Russia does/wants if the people that actually have power in Russia are doing something else. Ditto for China. Nobody is claiming that all Chinese people are rabid expansionists, just that the people who matter are.
Both China and Russia have clearly demonstrated that they want to expand their real power / strengthen it in places where they already have soft power. If the US wasn't around to stick navies in contested waters, wag its finger, flex its muscles, and impose sanctions, most people think the world would not be as peaceful as it is. As you've pointed out, this still isn't as peaceful as it could be, and that's something to be worked on. But that doesn't change the fact that it could also be much, much worse.