Banana_giraffe isn't alone.
I had chronic obstructive sleep apnea and I quickly got tired of unsolicited woo-woo illogical suggestions to treat it.
Exercise and meditation doesn't fix problems with bone structure.
Sometimes people just get a bad luck of the draw, and no amount of "hard work" can fix genetics.
There are low hanging fruit. Dropping weight, removing processed foods, exercise are your bare minimum of what everyone should try for solving Medical problems.
Now a lot of problems can be solved this way. Just not everything.
I suffered exercise intolerance for decades. No mater how hard I tried I would need two weeks of recovery after any work out. Turned out I had underlying problems that none of the what I mentioned above were going to fix.
However I still feel strongly that if I’m going to complain to a doctor, I should be doing my part with diet and exercise.
Idiopathic intracranial hypertension Also called: pseudotumor cerebri.
Description A condition that occurs when pressure inside the skull increases for no obvious reason.
Had POTs quite bad.
Spinal tap gave a year of relief.
Now I use Diamox. Huge improvement
I brought it up to my sleep doctor. I said I thought I had it because of my weight, he laughed at it. He said, "If you are overweight, that can exacerbate apnea, but IT ABSOLUTELY DOES NOT CAUSE IT. That's absurd."
My sleep doctor is suuuuper fit, and very lean. An avid runner. He said that he has a VERY bad case of sleep apnea. I was floored!
He said you either have it or you don't.
So case by case?
https://cks.nice.org.uk/topics/obstructive-sleep-apnoea-synd...
> These recommendations are based on the Scottish Intercollegiate Guidelines Network (SIGN) guideline Management of obstructive sleep apnoea/hypopnoea syndrome (OSAHS) in adults [SIGN, 2003].
> Advice on weight loss and exercise
> Expert opinion in a clinical review article from the British Medical Journal, Obstructive sleep apnoea, concluded that weight reduction programmes are not to be thought of as curative but rather as adjunctive for people with obstructive sleep apnoea syndrome (OSAS) [Greenstone and Hack, 2014].
> A meta-analysis of 5 small studies (n = 129) found a reduction in the apnoea/hypopnoea index (AHI) by –6.27 events/hour following supervised exercise training. This demonstrated a reduction in the severity of sleep apnoea (with minimal changes in body weight) with exercise [Iftikhar et al, 2014].
Below she’s fine.
I think the strong correlation of obesity with sleep apnea however should lend credence to the idea that it at least exacerbates it. But more to the point, there are conditions that are very similar to sleep apnea but are misdiagnosed as such. And these may very well be more related to weight.
It’s actually pretty fascinating how many common and sometimes serious medical problems are known to be fixable with “woo-woo” advice like “don’t eat like shit” (advice that 95% of people don’t follow). E.g. type 2 diabetes and refractory epilepsy now have purely dietary interventions as front-line treatments. We have weak evidence that this will probably work for many other common diseases. But just 10 years ago you would probably have been accused of “woo-woo” for making this claim about epilepsy or diabetes.
Most people that are around me enough get a sense of this. Most don't know the depth of it.
What gets old is when I deviate from the diet, by say having a glass of beer at a social function, it's a big deal. Everyone's concerned about me, which I appreciate, but I have to justify the beer by pointing out how it fits into my diet, and how I've planned for this beer. I have had to pull up my diet plan on more than one occasion to make someone happy.
If I was known to have problems adhering to my diet, and asked for this sort of help, then fine. I don't have that, and I've tried to tell people that I know what my diet is. I try to be nice about it, and ask people to just let me be.
Instead I get to defend every beer I have. So, now I'm the teetotaler in the office. It's just easier than the alternative. But it's damned annoying.
I can see how it would get annoying. If you view it as love, instead of nagging, it might get a little less annoying.
As someone who had to follow a strict diet for a while, I know for a fact that the people who stuck their nose into my allowed indulgences did not care about me nearly as much as the people who actually cared and knew I was capable of managing my own diet.
Edit: Please don't downvote a clear question. The truth is, you can't know another's intentions in most cases. It's very possible parent does know them in these cases for other circumstantial reasons. In which case I'd ask, how do you know that extrapolated to everyone else who asks those same questions?
Seriously, some people have no common sense and/or are just arrogant. Jumping into a situation where you have minimal information and assuming to know best is the hallmark of a fool.
It's the opposite of actually caring about a person. It's caring about them making you feel good about going through superficial "caring" motions while doing absolutely no good and lots of terrible harm when it is added up over time for the person with a chronic condition whom absolutely everyone wants pats on the head from for pretending to care while doing not a damn thing to actually make their life better in some meaningful way.
If people care, they do what actually helps you rather than insisting you make them feel good for superficial bullshit that only adds to your suffering.
This is a very simplistic way to look at people. A lot of people are misinformed or not thoughtful or don't fully understand your experience or frankly not that bright. The idea that people who genuinely care never do any damage is beyond ludicrous.
People who actually care will be okay with being told "This isn't helping. Please just stop." But that's not what the vast majority of people do.
The vast majority of people want it acknowledged that they are good people because they care about you and are trying to help and all this shit.
If they cared, they would drop it when asked instead of doubling down on trying to demand that you make them feel like a good person for fucking with your life and trampling your boundaries.
I also have a serious condition. No, most people absolutely do not actually care about my welfare.
I have tons of firsthand experience with this and I'm not budging one inch.
See it in kids constantly, adults often.
Kids getting mad at the cat for not liking being dressed in doll clothes.
Yes you care about the cat. However now everyone including the cat is unhappy.
Childish behavior, except it still hurts when loved ones get mad at you for not recovering fast enough.
Parents offered me some pills (blood thinners) that might solve some problems.
They got very upset when I refused without a doctors consent.
Only thing I wanted from them was emotional support. Instead I had go cut them off for a year.
All because they couldn’t fix me.
I'm sure someone cares, but the majority of such folks? Nope.
I was once watching a crappy move, but it had one gem in it. The protagonist had lost the use of his leg in the Civil war, and he sought compensation for it, and received a lot easier than expected. Throughout the movie, he keeps wondering why it was so easy to get the money - he expected a fight. Towards the end, the revelation hit. They didn't pay him because they cared about him. They did it because they wanted to feel better about themselves. They did it so that they could walk away feeling tall.
And so it is with most advice: They do it because it makes them feel like they've done a good deed, and who knows - someone may even benefit from it? If they didn't, then no harm done.
That last sentence is quite wrong, though.
After hearing this, I got fairly good at figuring out who is trying to help vs who is trying to walk away tall. A little extra engagement with the person can usually reveal this.
I've learned from enough experience - both in giving and in receiving advice - that when you try to help someone, you should take on the burden on yourself. It becomes your responsibility to understand the pain points of the other person, know what he's tried, etc. This is exactly what random advice typically isn't. It's well known that saying "I had a similar problem" and talking about it is not empathizing[1]
One of the worst jobs I had involved a very knowledgeable person who would try to give advice whenever I was stuck. His advice often didn't work because he didn't understand the problem well, and made assumptions, etc. Every time he tried to help it was a huge time sink - to the point that I would mention my problems only when he wasn't around. Not exactly analogous to this situation, except to point out that this person never really understood the burden of helping someone. When you help someone, work with the person till the problem is resolved (or till you can't help). He failed as a teammate because of this.
(For those who recognize the movie - yes, I am taking liberties).
[1] Seriously - this is standard advice you'll find everywhere: When someone tells you their problems, do not respond with how similar your problems were - took me years to understand why.
I really like this story. It's definitely a tell when somebody only wants to help when it's easy and gives up right away. Although, that can also be a factor of them realizing that helping is beyond their ability, which can be different from not caring.
I think maybe a better tell is, how much time do they spend asking questions, versus giving "advice". Listening is nice but not always impactful. Talking is cheap and often irrelevant. But a good question can change your entire worldview. Or better yet, make you change your own worldview.
Did your coworker help everyone in this way, or was it just you?
I had to go through jaw surgery. It was worth it.
People suffering from sleep apnea seem to have bad throat muscles and big tongues.
Also if I’m in a flare, those items will swell noticeably
Hold the stretch, repeat the same for a couple of minutes and your muscles will ache. This also unclogs your sinus, so don't be surprised if you need to swallow or clear your nose. Also, don't do the full stretch at the first try. Warm up a bit first.
There are several others, but take too much time to describe here. You can research online. This is not obscure information. My doctor gave me a writeup. Please note they take a few days to take effect. Personally, I found them effective within a week, but YMMV.
Singing also helps - less effective but more fun (well, for you, if not others who will wince).
https://www.sleepfoundation.org/articles/mouth-exercises-to-... https://www.cpap.com/blog/exercises-alleviate-sleep-apnea/ https://www.southfloridasinusandallergy.com/14-convenient-ex...
In my case I had to tell people because I was quitting my job to have the procedure done. Some opinions from people in the healthcare field (nurses, etc) said I didn't need surgery because I wasn't overweight or old. Well they weren't maxillofacial surgeons.