No, Cap'n Proto does not rely on memory layout of KJ types or anything like that. You could build it on the standard library approximately just as easily.
In 2013, the C++ standard library was sorely missing a string representation that allowed pointing into an existing buffer, which was important for Cap'n Proto to claim zero-copy. C++17 introduced std::string_view, which would fit the bill, but that wasn't there in 2013, so I wrote my own StringPtr. I added Maybe because I needed it all over the place (and std::optional didn't exist), and then for RPC I needed to create the Promise framework (std::future and such didn't exist yet). At that point I looked at these things and said "these are generally useful outside of Cap'n Proto, I should turn them into a library", and that's how KJ got started.
> I imagine trying to sell the investment of writing something like kj at a company and it being a tough sell
Well, many companies have things "like KJ". Google has Abseil, Facebook has Folly. But just like KJ, these things didn't start with someone saying "Hey I want to make a new C++ toolkit", they started with people writing utility code that they needed for other things, and then splitting that code out to make it reusable. Eventually the utilities accumulate into their own ecosystem. I generally don't add anything to KJ unless I explicitly need it for something else I'm working on. I actually would argue that it would be a bad business decision to spin up a project to create something like KJ or Abseil or Folly from scratch; such projects are likely to spend too much time solving the wrong problems. The best toolkits and platforms come from projects that were really trying to build something on top of that platform, and let their own real-world problems drive the design.
That said, arguably, Cap'n Proto itself is a bit of a counterpoint. I started Cap'n Proto after quitting Google. I did not have any real business purpose, I just wanted to play around with zero-copy, which I'd thought about a lot while working on Protobuf. That said, I did have the previous experience of maintaining Protobuf at Google for several years, which meant I already had a pretty good idea of what the real-world problems looked like, and I stuck pretty closely to Protobuf's design decisions in most ways. And then starting in 2014, I started working on Sandstorm, build on top of Cap'n Proto, and further development was driven by needs there. (And since 2017, Cloudflare Workers has been the main driver.)
I am not sure if the time I spent starting Cap'n Proto in 2013 would have made sense from a business perspective. If I'd wanted to start Sandstorm immediately, building on Protobuf would probably have been the right answer.
I would say that low-level developer tooling in general is pretty tough to make a business out of, because everyone expects it to be free and open source. It's also pretty tough to build as part of another business, because usually creating something new from scratch doesn't justify the cost, vs. using something off the shelf. I feel like the only people who can create new fundamental tools from scratch (especially things like programming languages) are giant companies like Google, and random hackers who are lucky enough to be able to mess around without funding.
Sorry, that probably isn't the answer you were looking for. I don't like it either. :/