Comment by salex89 | Hacker News Reader

Comment by salex89 | Hacker News Reader

A funny piece of advice, I have an actually very good friend (we still are, but at a point in history our relations became a bit dark) who knew that I was going into therapy. I didn't actually accept the fact that I had to go well, and I felt ashamed and weak when we talked about it. Little did he knew, in the meantime I got much better, accepted the fact and started freely speaking about it with other people here and there. Not when not asked, but when the topic of mental health came along, I wasn't shy to expose the fact and encourage people to seek their own. And in one relatively big dispute (minor from this distance), he kind of tried exposing it against me in front of some mutual friends who actually already knew (I told them in the meantime). Well, he looked like massive jackass.

In conclusion, don't be ashamed for seeking therapy. Yes, it may feel shameful now, which is completely unwarranted, but a part of the process of healing is also dealing with the existence of the issue itself and taking a different stance at mental health issues.

As for the blackmailers... just rot in hell.

My therapist addressed the stigma of therapy in session one: when your arm is broken, you go to a doctor. So why wouldn’t you go to one when your mind is broken? Makes sense to me.

Therapy was the best $20 co-pay I paid every week for quite a while. I only stopped because I moved to a state where mental health wasn’t covered well by insurance and couldn’t justify the hourly rate in cash. But it really helped me find perspective in the minutia that is my life.

I’d highly recommend it to anyone that can access it. Find a good therapist and give it a go.

Also, I second your call for blackmailers to rot. :)

At least in the US where I am, there is a strong stigma attached, and if people know you have mental issues you are assumed to be dangerous. Not surprising, I suppose, in a society that guarantees access to weapons of mass murder. But people won't let you near their kids, and you probably would have trouble finding a job.

Phrasing, over the long term, can help.

Pretty much everyone has mental health issues to some degree. Because we are stupid, it's actively addressing them that is stigmatized.

I'm not sure it's the access to weapons that makes a whole lot of difference. Certain events in the US come first to mind when you mention it, but where I live there is practically no weapons readily available, even certain air rifles being regulated. You can't even buy ammo without approval yet people still fear of being harmed from a "crazy person". People equate any issue with aggression, delusions, dark secrets while in reality in most cases it's more likely to be things like hypochondria, insomnia, family relations, coping with loss of loved ones etc.

I've never been anywhere near the US, but from my exposure to US media (TV, movies, podcasts, news, socials, ...) as well as some US friends my impression was that at least half of the population goes to therapy and a big part of those are on some antidepressants. So I'm surprised that's still a stigma if it's essentially the norm for anyone who can afford it.

I've never gone to therapy but have always thought that in an ideal world everyone would go, from time to time. People go to the gym to keep their bodies fit and healthy, why not go to a therapist to keep your mind fit and healthy?

There is a Philip K. Dick short story where practically everyone does. I don't remember its name. The topic of therapy commonly came up in his short stories and novels.

I am not ashamed of seeking therapy, and am pretty open about it with anyone, although I respect anyone that wants to keep it private.

I still would definitely not choose to share the NOTES FROM MY THERAPIST of private things I said to them -- if I'd ever choose to share that with anyone (maybe not), it would certainly not be with the public at large, with anyone who cares to look it up at any time.

It's not just an indication that someone went to therapy that the blackmailers are revealing and threatening to reveal. It's a very different thing. I would expect most people who are public about having gone to therapy (like the people interviewed in OP) are not in fact fine with sharing the complete notes of everything they said in therapy with any interested acquaintance or member of the public.

So... Guess you're friend must enjoy the prospect of rotting in hell.

They said they're on good terms now, LOL.

Tbh I couldn't bounce back out of that one.

Haha, I send him there a couple of times every week for the last 20 years.

It was much more benign and the people we were with are fairly close to both of us. We wouldn't quarrel in such a way in front of them if they weren't. But it was heated at that point, and a learning opportunity for both of us.

You must have the forgiveness of a saint to still be friends after something like that. I hope your friend has genuinely changed.

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