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(Satire)

Meanwhile, in the Kremlin, Putin orders that one nuclear code digit be inserted into the hearts of 20 men. There was widespread controversy when Putin forced them to remove it themselves in a practice fire drill last week. A Kremlin official responded: "Using 20 men has reduced our nuclear response time by 20 times".

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If they had a law mandating an innocent person must be killed to obtain the codes, in true soviet style, Putin would just shoot a random person and then use the codes (that are always with him). Efficient and technically lawful.

wait - does this mean that each heart has a digit and you need to kill 20 men to get the complete code, in which case I would expect response time to increase or does it mean that each of the men has a redundant code so that in case one of them is on the toilet they can still kill another one and fire the nukes without any delays?

the joke is that Putin has ordered the innocents to "remove it themselves" in a fire drill.

Compare 1 individual taking out digits one by one vs 20 individuals taking out 1 digit each.

I think it is that they were forced to kill themselves. So 20 at once, rather than one at a time.

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