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Comment by Gualdrapo | Hacker News Reader

I used an app (not tinder, there I couldn't get a single match) where you could get a notification showing how many people looked at your profile.

I had a picture with my late dog and had ~12 visits a day. In that picture I had was wearing a hoodie, and the hood covering my bald head.

Removed that picture, and the number of visits went down to 1-2 per week at much.

The number of women who decided to get in touch with me plummeted proportionaly, but wasn't that high to begin with.

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as a fellow bald person (went bald early twenties), I think there is confusing messaging around baldness. For example, things that disguise baldness are "for insecure men". I am also told that judging people's physical appearance is immoral or even shaming.

On the other hand I suspect it has likewise made it very difficult to get dates. If I conclude that being bald lowers my odds am I insecure? Am I diminishing women's sense of being shamed by men by claiming I myself feel rejected?

The data, however, makes things more clear. I've never tried an experiment like that. Thanks for sharing.

If you’re bald get jacked, tan, and grow facial hair

https://extrafabulouscomics.com/comic/180/

> I am also told that judging people's physical appearance is immoral or even shaming.

Those who told you that will also claim, on other contexts, that we have a right to our affectional preferences.

> I am also told that judging people's physical appearance is immoral or even shaming.

I think it's weird that we dance around the idea that looks aren't important when we all know otherwise.

It's why men fib about their height and are insecure about showing photos without hair, and why some women take photos that hide their true figure, and why both take very flattering angles that are unlike day-to-day appearances. There's also a plethora of data from dating websites that show being a certain ethnicity and gender have very different outcomes.

There might be some outliers but the data I've seen from online dating websites show handsome looking men get matched up a substantially higher rate than not-so-handsome guys.

Men lie about their height because women don't know how the numbers actually correlate to looks.

Women would do the same of waist/hip size was in the profile.

this is a pretty ignorant comment. plenty of women know how to gauge height from a number. men lie about their height because they are insecure.

It's overly generalised yes, but a vast proportion of the world is not over 6ft, yet this is often remarked as a minimum requirement on dating profiles. However in reality it often turns out that their real "height requirements" are far lower from anecdotal experience. The perception that being 6ft is the norm and that men should always be tall is highly prevalent

I hear you have to get in really good shape if you're bald. Maybe worth trying out.

and/or being able to grow a beard also helps. I recommend strength training or powerlifting. I honestly think you can squeeze out some really good noobie gains from doing a basic strength program or powerlifting program. Then swap out to whatever you want.

I also like to recommend BJJ / MMA to people, I love the sport and its also helpful knowing how to defend yourself.

Also running Amazon helps.

What was that app?

https://adopteunmec.com/

Worth noting that despite it's a women oriented thing (they get in touch with you only if they want to) on their website you could look at others' stats - how many visits they had get, how many "charms" they've received (how many men expressed their wish to get in touch with them) and how many messages they've sent - which for the time I was there could estimate than the number of messages could be around 3-10% of the total of "charms" they received

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