Millennials are not getting married | Hacker News Reader

Millennials are not getting married

allendowney.com

10 pointskoolhead1713 comments

To be honest, it only makes sense it would decline, the advantages of getting married are fewer and fewer, and the recourse of divorce is still severe.

When marrying someone of similar income, there are tax penalties not perks.

Divorce no matter how amicable have to go through the courts, and has a significant cost.

Any many states, marriage means you legally take on the debt of who you are marrying, and that legal obligation is not dissolved in the divorce.

And with the legal partners being recognized, access to things are available without marriage.

Yeah, my stupid, diphenhydramine-popping stepfather walked away from my disable mother after her stroke and a forest fire while she was away without anything but an email. He took almost everything and just left, and is now trying to cheat her out of spousal support and the many tens of thousands she paid to fix their retirement home. She is currently being kicked-out (move) during the pandemic is and forced now to leave the state.

I'm really sorry to hear that this is happening to your family, and hope you have a good attorney.

Nope. The judge is an ultra-conservative Bible-thumper family court guy (there are only 2 judges in the rural county, and they seem interchangeable) who doesn't care about anyone and her attorney is a lazy, milquetoast, limp lasagna noodle who should be reported to the bar for malpractice. My mom is almost out of money and her ex is dragging her all the way to court and blocking every reasonable settlement. She won't have anything left after this is over. The ex even muttered "why did he do it" under his breath because it's costing him so much, like he has some sort of dementia mixed with regret going on. The kicker is he will eventually inherit millions of dollars, but my mom will die in abject poverty while he quibbles about $100 of spousal support which is peanuts to him.

Again sorry to hear that, it might be worth attempting to look up disabled advocate services, they often can provide legal council, or guidance. If your mother is disabled you might want to look into "Criminal Abandonment."

I know these situations can seem hopeless, and frankly some are, but in many cases the legal proceedings play out simply because the other side doesn't know or do anything to contest them.

And searching out an advocate and having a phone call with them is a really low bar considering the ability for them to possibly change the trajectory of the situation.

Best of luck with this.

The concept of marriage is an outdated concept. If people want to enter a mutually beneficial union, pre nuptial agreements should be a standard and not left up to courts or whatever archaic laws are on the books. People should be educated on what the union encompasses should it fail.

The biggest issues are that health care and taxes are tied to the idea of just being in a union.

We've been hit with recession, after recession, and now we're all living with our parents as we lean into another one. If marriage is about stability, commitment, and starting a family (kids or not), on-average we're increasingly in a situation where nobody has any money, lives with their parents, isn't religious (traditional source of pressure for marriage), and has no friends.

We're poorer: "Millennials have slightly less wealth than Boomers did at the same age. The median net worth of households headed by Millennials (ages 20 to 35 in 2016) was about $12,500 in 2016, compared with $20,700 for households headed by Boomers the same age in 1983. Median net worth of Gen X households at the same age was about $15,100."

https://www.pewsocialtrends.org/essay/millennial-life-how-yo...

We live with our parents: "A majority of young adults in the U.S. live with their parents for the first time since the Great Depression"

https://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2020/09/04/a-majority-...

We're also far less religious: "...only about one-quarter of young adults (age 18-29) belong to a white Christian tradition, including white evangelical Protestant (8%), white mainline Protestant (8%), or white Catholic (6%)."

https://www.prri.org/research/american-religious-landscape-c...

We're fragmented, lonely, unhappy.... "More recent data show that one in five millennials have no friends at all. And a survey released in 2020 found that 71 percent of millennials and almost 79 percent of Gen Z respondents report feeling lonely—a significantly greater proportion than other generations."

https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/why-young-america...

And we're increasingly saddled with student debt, which wasn't a thing for our parent's generation.

In reference to 1975: "Students at University of California schools are now paying $600 in fees and tuition—a number that would soon skyrocket."

https://www.abc10.com/article/news/local/what-happened-to-ca...

Lot of stuff going on. Lot of anger and frustration. Tired of hearing avocado toast jokes from people with pensions, whose tuition budget was the same as their beer budget, and who bought their 3-bedroom for $125k.

Flip side is, it's hitting a lot of older folks these days too:

"Nationally, Johnson was one of the 40,000 people age 65 and older who were homeless in 2017, according to a study by researchers in Los Angeles, New York and Boston. That number is expected to nearly triple by 2030."

https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2019/10/02/califo...

40% of Older Americans Rely Solely on Social Security for Retirement Income

https://www.nirsonline.org/2020/01/new-report-40-of-older-am...

It's a rough time for the country.

Almost no one gets married in NZ. However after 2 years being together you become de-facto partner aka married.

Only get married if you've been with the same person for many years and there's a legal reason to do so. Use a prenup that is video deposed with an admission of a lack of coercion and explanation of each term. Palnup if living together similarly.

Also, it is worth considering extended adolescence, economic, and other factors are leading towards a Japan-like population crash of native-born US citizens.

I get that. I'm from the US and will be looking overseas for a wife in Russia, Ukraine, Brazil, Czechia, and similar because American girls just aren't educated, skilled, dedicated, or adult enough to survive in today's real world. The entitlement, poor attitude, and ignorance are painful and obnoxious to the point too many are liabilities compared to females elsewhere where they actually know how to let a man be a man.

this sounds incredibly misogynistic.

It's attacking women of US, not all women. So I guess technically it's nationalism/fascism or something like that?

It's attacking women everywhere. The women he likes are the ones in countries where the women are forced to endure that misogyny, and who would come to the US to escape those countries.

He may find that they're less compliant once they come here.

According to Hofstede's cultural dimensions, of all the countries listed US has highest masculinity. Does feminism equals misogyny in your mind?

https://www.hofstede-insights.com/product/compare-countries/

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