I am someone like you as well. I hate notifications. The only thing I like to be notified is calendar + clock. And slack at work! I periodically check my email and I rarely need to be notified anything.

My target audience is mostly the average joe internet user. What I found is that the ones who contribute quality content sometimes return back to their post to check for comments and respond. But most of the time it's unattended comments. So I am still experimenting.

It's highly likely that they have been conditioned on all platforms and expecting the same here too. A weekly digest type of email is something I am considering. Not to grab their attention, but to nudge them about the existence of unattended comments.