you didn't mention the most important aspect of this story: your country of origin. things are very different for those from, for eg. australia vs being from, for eg. columbia

sounds like you need to either pay somebody to marry you, or sneak out of the country and go to a third-nation, live there for a while and apply for residence via your parents from there

could be possible that they don't know you were in the USA. SFO is one of the only airports where they don't check internationals on the way out.