It all depends how you define charisma. If it's "larger than life" it can be and is often abused, if it's "easy to be around and suave" that comes closer to what I would think charisma is.
Some people want attention and do all the right things to get it: pursue the right goals, get people together to do stuff that's good for humanity. You'd better believe that many people whom we view very positively might have been narcissists: Ghandi, Mother Teresa, etc. But the difference is they did GOOD things to get the attention and power they thought they deserved.
I think it has to do with the values you absorb as a very young person. We all have a drive for attention, for power, for comfort, for security. For some the drive, and the talent or "charisma" to achieve those goals is higher.
The decisions made along the way, the considerations of the side effects, and what you DO with that power are what distinguish people like Donald Trump and Hitler from people like Barack Obama and Nelson Mandela. And let's not get it wrong; even the latter two have a few spots on their records. No one is perfect.
She also has a video on "communal narcissists" - a breed of narcissists on a mission to help people that are very careful about documenting every single thing they do. Upon closer inspection, it turns out many people do good things only to be in spotlight and are mean to people close to them, including assistants who work for their success. She says whether it's worth it for the society in the end is a philosophical question.
I feel like we would have heard stories about Barack Obama tormenting his subordinates by now if he was truly narcissistic.
- lack of empathy - entitlement to special treatment - superficial - constantly seeking validation and admiration - manipulative, exploitative, lying
Note that covert/vulnerable narcissists are mostly like that but they trade charm for a ton of passive-aggressive behaviors and snide remarks. Charisma is the favorite tool of classic, grandiose narcissists.
By contrast, Dr. Grande's channel has more varied psychological content and comes off as more neutral than Ramani. Although recently he's been doing a lot more analyses of individuals than of broader subjects.
Someone who wants to understand narcissistic personality disorder should probably look up its commonly accepted definition, then watch Dr. Ramani's videos and decide which ones matter and which ones really don't. That's just my opinion.
In my opinion there's a narcissism epidemic going on. Charisma is seen not just as a trait but as a value. Everyone wants some. It's lumped together with good leadership, extroversion etc. Charismatic selfish people are praised as CEOs, celebrities, youtubers, politicians, actors. And enthralled people keep making excuses for them! And calling YOU crazy.
For many people it's true that narcissists are all around, and it's easy to explain! Kind, selfless, charitable people are narcissist magnets(They will keep making excuses). Also people from messed up families, who didn't develop healthy boundaries(Does fish know it's under water?). They are easy to impress and exploit. Narcissists and manipulators can sense weakness. By contrast, if you're assertive, you repel them without knowing and it may seem like the problem is overblown. Both earlier kinds of people end up being marginalized.
I have another issue with Dr Ramani and why she's not a complete source on narcissim. She's great for theory and the big picture but gives few examples of things narcissists actually say and how you might counteract it.
Without going into detail, I can very much relate to this. The grandiose narcissists are much easier to identify, most of the time, but vulnerable narcissism(which I think most narcissists are) is more socially acceptable and reliant on empathetic energy, making it harder to point out. On social media in particular, they can easily form cults of victims whom end up enabling the narcissist. I'm normally not that bothered by narcissists, but there have been a few times where I pointed out that a public figure is a narcissist, along with concrete details on their lies and misdirection, and got mostly backlash for it. What's funny is my predictions have always turned out to be right because narcissists really aren't that difficult to understand. Most of them aren't even good at keeping their stories straight.