Get used to async chatting in the general channel... in text. That will solve your problem.
Yeah, just like irc. What do you think Slack is modeled on?
And just to make myself more hated, cut the scheduled meetings down. If everyone is spamming status in #general (or #status or whatever) you don't really need them.
Oh and, like the parent poster, been doing this for at least 15 out of the last 20 years.
& all those open source mailing list threads have done plenty of work. Not to forget their IRC channels