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Comment by Mizza | Hacker News Reader

I have a very, very different definition of success than Warren Buffett does.

I say yes to as much as I can, and my life has been extremely fun and interesting as a result. If I could do it again, I'd say yes more and I'd say yes faster.

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I totally agree with this. I have 3 kids, 2 jobs... But, I find that taking an "abundance view" towards time truly makes me happier. I have way more fun and do better work. I do rush and hurry for deadlines.. But I don't feel harried in my day to day.

I see way too many people limiting their own growth because they see themselves as focusing. I personally think playing around is critical — and that we have way more time than we think.

Related: why is it that we think we don't have time to work out, but almost always, whenever we do exercise, the efficiency of work skyrockets?

The truth is we just don’t want to exercise, and all the other things that we would rather do, including productive things that we really do need to do, therefore push the exercise to the side.

Even though we know in the abstract that exercise will make our time more effective, we let ourselves be persuaded that we don’t have time because we enjoy working out mentally more than working out physically.

I'm the complete opposite in this regard. I currently spend 2 hours a day training for boxing, spend time on weekends mountain biking and wish there was more time! At some point I'll be financial independent where I will be able to devote even more time.

With that being said, would it help people to view exercise as play time? If you go play basketball with a group of guys, are you exercising or playing? For me it doesn't matter, I'm going to be out there either way but for others would the mental shift make a difference?

Probably this is really it, I would just rather spend my play time futzing with code on a computer.

VR Workouts have unlocked this for me.

I'm pretty sedentary but playing beat saber for 1 hour is a lot more moving than I'm used to.

finding a sport/activity that you enjoy is a great way to shift exercise from the work category to the fun category. I had some success on this front with indoor climbing pre-pandemic. unfortunately, my gym now has a ton of restrictions that make it much less convenient to use, so I'm afraid I haven't gone back yet.

I don't think sports can fully substitute for a deliberate workout regimen though. with the possible exception of swimming, I don't think there are any sports that really give a full-body workout.

As children we didn't focus on a full-body workout. Though most children, at least when I was growing in up in the 90s are in far better shape than most adults. Sure a 12 kid couldn't help move an oak dresser but they are better overall physical shape. If adults were just active playing sports, I'd suspect obesity and related health issues to decrease with mental health improving.

I know there are many here on HN that will loathe the idea of playing sports.

> If adults were just active playing sports, I'd suspect obesity and related health issues to decrease with mental health improving.

I don't disagree. whatever form it takes, some exercise is better than no exercise. there is some risk in developing certain muscle groups while neglecting others though. you can injure the weakest link doing something you simply wouldn't attempt if all your muscles were equally weak.

Deadlines stress me out and I dread impending failures, and I have a very broad definition of failure. I would definitely feel harried. Am I being limited by worries? Are you having some misses in targets here and there but you're trucking right along, or are you really good at meeting what sounds like many many targets?

Maybe this will help. It's a TED Talk entitled "How to make stress your friend":

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RcGyVTAoXEU

I miss many targets and it's amazing how little it matters. The key is creating space to be truly passionate about something, that ends up protecting you and sustaining you

Same goes for meditation. People will say they don't have time to sit for ten minutes a day. The longer you sit, the more time you seem to have. A paradox.

"You should sit in meditation for twenty minutes everyday - unless you're too busy; then you should sit for an hour." - Dr. Sukhraj Dhillon

I read Altered Traits at the behest of someone here. All I got of it was "I studied meditation for months to reduce my blood pressure, it didn't do anything, so I took some pills, and that was great, but you should meditate."

It seems that all evidence toward any purported positive effects of meditation is extremely speculative, other than "willpower gains" as preached by Kelly McGonigal. The thing is, those can come from focusing on something useful or cardio too.

I can recommend The Mind Illuminated by culadasa. He has a PHD in neuroscience and gives you a very comprehensive framework of how the mind works (with focus on attention) and what kind of improvements meditation brings.

I've done the opposite with an equally rewarding outcome. I used to say yes to so much just because of FOMO and social pressure. I then realized I actually didn't want to do any of that stuff and didn't have to. I'm finally happy and content with life.

This exchange highlights the uselessness of pithy one-liner self help remarks: they're interpreted according to what people have already experienced, and they're highly contextual.

The above two parent comments' anecdata suggest that for different people, saying Yes to almost everything, or saying No, can have the same result: to be more sastified with how life is going.

What's common between Yes and No is that they're both a deliberate act of choice, of having agency in deciding what happens.

For myself, saying No and sticking to my preferences have yielded great results. For example, I hate phones and insist on emails - it's impractical, I know, but by giving firm No's, people respect my communication preference at work and personal life.

On the other hand, there are some directions that I'd like to say more Yes to, to consciously open up possibilities.

I suppose it comes down to knowing when to say Yes and No, and to act on it.

This. “Agency,” also called “ownership of decisions,” is really what all this talk of “saying yes” and “saying no” is all about. The can even include ownership of the decision to “just go with the flow and do whatever in the moment,” but the intentionality of that decision is essential.

Agency and control over time and decisions is probably also the essence of the regular HN debate over working from home or working from an office. Both can be best depending on the person.

I wish your comment was at the top.

Money as metric for success leads to destruction.

Someone who helps a stranger is successful.

I wish more people would understand that everything that devides us as humans leads to destruction. Everything that unites us leads to good things, which I call success.

Warren Buffett's definition of success is not purely money -- if you look into his life had cares much more about teaching and giving back (both with the giving pledge and one of the largest philanthropists of all time). He just happens to be good at and enjoy making money -- I don't think his advice is less relevant if you see the context behind it, but many just take it out of context.

For me, saying no much of the time has changed my life for the better.

I was constantly doing things I didn't want to do because I didn't know how to say no to friends and family, eventually becoming a little resentful at being dragged to too many events and having no time for myself, even though it was always my fault for saying yes too much.

Chances are you are splitting your life into two categories.

You are saying "yes" to people, which I applaud.

You are not saying "yes" to non-people stuff.

Yes, upvote this.

Practice "yes and."

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