I look at these phone announcements nowadays and realize I don't care about any of their value propositions.

The phones sold 5 or 6 years ago were good enough on any of those metrics by my standards: I look at my 5 year old phone, look at the new ones, and realize that just the hassle of setting a new one up wouldn't be worth it.

Also they need to scrap all the Google software crap like "Google Assistant" out of their marketing. I have yet to meet someone who would consider anything like that a feature. People expect it to be an annoyance at best - that's those who don't give a fuck about privacy.