Satire or serious? I can’t tell.
For reference, when I see an otherwise "light" resume loaded up with a bunch of words like React, Node, Kubernetes, Docker, <any cloud product>, etc., I typically have an adverse physiological reaction and quickly move onto the next resume. Most of us are looking for substance in our work - meaningful value added towards the business or hobby interest being pursued.
That said, I am not against those who pursue learning of various shiny technologies as a hobby in and of itself, but I would caution those who are seeking higher orders of achievement to focus most of their energy on the core problems they are hoping to solve.
Maybe find a technical co-founder who already has the technical expertise.