Ask HN: I am “trapped” in a senior engineering role, how can I escape?
I learned to build websites around 2011 when I was in my mid 20's. I had been working as a cleaner for some time and had come to realise I needed to escape that particular poverty trap. My father and grandfather were also cleaners for the majority of their working lives and often expressed regret before they passed. After some months self-learning I had amassed the courage to start applying for internships and junior jobs. No luck initially, though eventually I was able to begin a data entry job on a 12 month contract. I was finally able to sit at a desk and have a work assigned email address!
Half-way into my contract I organised a dozen or so meetups at Google Campus. There I met people who gave me the inspiration to continue applying for jobs. I was a fish out of water but it was a fantastic time. Finally, after another year or so of searching, I received an offer. I was able to jump in at the deep end had full project ownership over critical projects for several international brands. Over the next year I was able to fit in a wealth of experience and saw my career progress nicely as I jumped from project to project.
Eventually I was offered the chance to join a small business services company and lead development of financial systems there. I accepted, and I have been here for over half a decade now with some success. However, I now feel woefully under-experienced compared to my peers and sorely need mentorship.
I feel hopelessly trapped and constantly on the precipice of professional and personal catastrophe. I am not fit the for job market as a senior engineer, and I no longer have the financial means to take a step back into a less senior role at a company with a larger engineering team.
My scenario is certainly not unique but I have no peers to discuss this issue with so I am reaching out to HN for stern and dispassionate advice.